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I asked my mom to simulate a freshman year dorm experience and she single-handedly crippled the relationships with my high school friends and peed on my bed at 3 in the morning

Government promises to stick glowing vial of untested liquid into your arm by Thanksgiving

Now that I have my official diploma from my math major, I can finally know Krelb, the “wretched numeral” between 4 and 5

Whoops! Local cop shoots self in foot (figuratively) by shooting protester in head (literally)

Smirking Trustee announces that there’s nothing anyone can do — they already spent all Stanford’s money on buying one enormous monster truck that can only be fueled with the burnt remnants of rare Amazonian trees

Stanford Admins Exasperated at Having to Send Yet Another Fucking Email About Current Events

Disappointing: Susie Brubaker-Cole’s Latest Video Got Under 5k Likes so She Put Down her Dog

I Accidentally Set My Zoom Background to a Looped Gif of the Challenger Explosion and I Have My “Respecting the Victims of the Challenger Explosion” Class in 2 Minutes