Ask a Guy Smoking a Cigarette Outside French House

October 8, 2012 12:00 pm
Views: 522

Dear Guy Smoking a Cigarette Outside French House,

I have a pretty tough quarter ahead of me and I’m already starting to get worn out. Do you have any tips for managing stress?

Tired in Trancos

Dear Tired,

Look, we all have a lot going on. Have you heard My Life in the Bush of Ghosts, David Byrne and Brian Eno’s 1981 masterpiece? No? It’s widely cited as one of the first and most influential uses of sampling in popular music. And they did it all without digital recording technology. Don’t talk to me about stress.

Dear Guy Smoking a Cigarette Outside French House,

Did you watch the debate on Wednesday? I’m not sure what to take away from it.

Undecided in Ujamaa

Dear Undecided,

You mean to tell me you believe still in the myth of American Democracy? Republican, Democrat, Red, Blue…it’s all the same. Have you read A People’s History of the United States, Howard Zinn’s 1980 critique of the dominant narratives in American history? No? Everything comes down to suppression of labor unions. Fucking wobblies, man. Don’t even talk to be about politics.

Dear Guy Smoking a Cigarette Outside French House,

I’ll be graduation in June and I’m looking for a job, but I’m worried that I’m not qualified to work anywhere. What should I do?

Anxious in Adelpha

Dear Anxious,

Working for the Man? That’s what you want to do? Have you seen Putney Swope, Robert Downey’s 1969 sendup of Madison Avenue artvertising culture? No? Actually, the satire kind of went over my head. Seemed pretty offensive. But don’t even fucking talk to me about finding a job.