When first-year archaeology PhD student, Skylar Poe, went to use the restroom on his night off at Redwood City’s Maya Nightclub, he was shocked by the abundant and “obvious” paleolithic drawings that years of clubbers seemed to blatantly pass over. The establishment’s owners were as surprised as anyone else: “We thought it was just graffiti!”
In the last week since the findings were made public, scholars have swarmed to Maya investigating the ancient paintings.
Fascinatingly, the local archaeologists have suggested that the paintings indicated primeval group intercommunication, pointing to one section behind what is now the modern toilet bowl, inscribed upside-down, reading (in a primordial tongue): “ʇnls ʇɐɟ ɐ ǝɹ,noʎ” which was crossed out on a later date to say, “noʎ ǝʇɐɥ uᴉʞɔnɟ I.” Translators internationally have worked on deciphering the phrases, confirming yesterday that they likely indicated one of the first signs of economic trade exchanges between peoples inhabiting this space up to 10,000 years ago.
Other scholars have theorized that Maya Nightclub sat on what used to be a religious site. Some evidence for this theory includes a messy sketch by the bathroom sink. “What may have looked like a penis doodle to the untrained eye,” Stanford Archaeology Director Andrew Bauer explained in an exclusive interview, “is actually a direct reference to prehistoric religious deities, with a drop symbol of heavenly love seemingly erupting from the long obelisk.”
Breakthroughs like this new discovery highlight the elusiveness of the wonders of the early world. Just as scientists feel they are beginning to wrap their heads around the practices of ancient people, new findings challenge modern assumptions. On this point, Poe remarked: “It’s truly incredible to think about the ingenuity of people a millennium ago… who would’ve guessed that neon green would’ve been such a popular paint color for pictographs?”
More cave paintings have been unearthed throughout the building and even into neighboring businesses, including “Good Vibrations” a local toy store with these fantastical art pieces as well as new ceremonial relics found in basement storage rooms.
