Impressively, Donald Trump has come up with a new solution for solving the Gaza crisis that ignores even more of the cultural and political nuance than ever before! Within the next 24 hours, American will be deploying 500 herds of clinical therapy llamas into Israel and Palestine with intent to bring peace to the Middle East.
Trump is reportedly “sick of thinking about historical implications of potential U.S. action” and decided to move forward on the unconventional plan of llama integration that came to him in a dream. On account of their debilitating cuteness and profound fluffiness, therapy llama usage has been on the rise, with a reported 96.8% of patients reporting an “elevated mood” and “mammalian clarity” after spending just 15 minutes petting the Camelidae creature. Llama experts hope to use the lovable creatures to bring together Israelis and Palestinians, and help them move past their decades-long hostility.
The therapy llama plan involves turning Jerusalem into one giant play-pen for the llamas. This strategy is thought to finally bring more value to a city that was, according to Donald Trump, “kind of mid.”
Some experts have brought up issues with the plan, claiming that it “wasn’t well thought-out,” “ignores major subtleties of the nations’ relationship,” and “is a waste of llamas.” President Trump agrees that certain parts of the plan aren’t perfect, but contends that no arrangement truly will ever be: “The biggest problem I see is that llamas are allergic to falafel, but I honestly think the llamas can learn to love tzatziki, too.”
The effects of the introduction of llamas to Gaza has yet to be seen, but optimism is running strong for the people of America and the rest of the world watching. This groundbreaking political strategy is finally bringing hope of eventual peace to the Middle East, serving a community that has been suffering from llamalessness for far too long.
