Embarrassed at falling for such an obvious scam, Adam and Eve sat with Flipside to reflect on their choices, delivering a powerful message to equally-gullible readers about personal security.
It was a beautiful Tuesday afternoon when Eve got a totally unexpected text:
Hi Stewart. You haven’t eaten an apple from the forbidden tree yet, please reply Y to this message and go pick a fruit.
“Yeah, I don’t know what was going through my head at that moment” Eve admitted to us, “I mean, I don’t even know a “Stewart”. I thought maybe it was a typo. But I wrote back and immediately got another text asking for the social security numbers for Adam and me. In hindsight, I probably should’ve known something was weird with that, but you never know what you’re gonna do unless you’re actually in one of these situations.”
Adam told us that the thing he regretted the most was the fact that they fell for an obvious scam about an apple, of all things. “Of course it was not worth it. Yeah, I was hungry for lunch too, but we were literally choosing between the chicken nugget geyser, the cheeseburger bush, and that fucking apple tree… I kick myself every day. Would I have done it for a limited-edition McDonald’s Grimace Shake? Absolutely. Fruit though? Really? And plain, too?! I even asked for some peanut butter to go with it but God’s allergic, so Eden’s nut-free. And I’d rather kill myself than eat sunflower butter.”
Flipside’s exclusive interview with the provaceteur, a certain evil serpentine creature revealed that he was just as surprised the scam worked as anyone.
“It’s actually crazy that there were only two people on Earth and I forgot their names for the text… and they still fell for it. I didn’t even need their social security numbers either, it was obviously 000-000-001 and 000-000-002. I just got cocky and wanted to see if she’d send it”
Apparently, The Snake wasn’t the only one disappointed in Adam and Eve’s gullibility. As a consequence of their foolhardiness, Bank of Eden has flagged their shekels account and God himself has put them on probation and removed them from Eden. “It’s not even that they ate the apple that upset me, it’s that they were so stupid to fall for such an obvious trap”, He said in a letter to our representatives.
Some silver lining lays on the edges of this eviction: Adam and Eve reported having a lot of fun in the real world. “My favorite part? Oh definitely when we went to the nudist communities and made them feel self-conscious,” Eve explained. “Hurt people hurt people, sorry.”
