(Oak Brook, IL) – Following the massively successful 2003 “I’m lovin’ it” branding campaign, McDonalds CEO Donald Thompson stated in a press conference earlier this week that the international fast food conglomerate was prepared to unveil a new slogan, “Please, don’t masturbate in our restrooms.”
“Don’t think we don’t know what you’re doing in there,” Thompson announced to a small crowd of reporters in McDonalds Oak Brook corporate headquarters, but also to the international community in general; “you think that you’re being subtle, going into the bathroom for five minutes with a few packets of mayonnaise; you’re not.”
Although recently announced, the new slogan has already gained traction with MacDonald’s employees. “No, I think it’s great,” reports Chad Anderson, a MacDonalds food-service team member, “The Starbucks bathrooms are right next door and they’re so much cleaner.”
“I mean, you guys know that when we said ‘I’m lovin it,’ we didn’t mean that literally, right?” Thompson continued, a pained expression on his face, “Well, there certainly shouldn’t be any more ambiguity now.”
