According to a recent disturbing report published by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Earth’s population of roughly 1 quintillion bugs has become an underrepresented demographic in the fields of technology and computer science.

“We consider it to be a problem of retention, not recruitment,” one gypsy moth activist explained.  “We see a ton of bugs at the beginning of introductory CS classes across America, but far fewer bugs by the end of those same courses.

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This industry trend has been particularly evident at Stanford, where high-caliber CS students use their cunning and ingenuity to systematically eliminate bugs from their programming classes.

“We have noticed a particular culture of discrimination at places like Stanford,” a recently unemployed woodlouse told our reporters through a translator.  “These institutions flaunt their diversity, but then have rooms like the LaIR where professors and TAs work hand-in-hand with undergraduates to come up with clever solutions for combatting bugs.”

Stanford’s Residential Computer Consultant (RCC) program has only exacerbated the problem by bringing tech-savvy students into the dorms and fighting bugs in their own home.

“Bugs have their place in computer science just as humans do,” a horse fly said in an appeal to bipedal coders.

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  “You cannot expect to learn anything if there are no bugs involved in your programs.

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  Always code with bugs in mind, learn from us, and become a better programmer by working to solve our problems.”

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