Although numerous Stanford students left The Farm this summer for internships at respected firms, the most coveted of these employment experiences belonged to those interns who gained real hands-on experience in abruptly minimizing Facebook pages when their managers or supervisors strode past.
“It was great to have the opportunity to apply material from the classroom to the real world,” reported an enthusiastic junior returning from an internship at a marketing company, “At Stanford, I learned to master the pattern of my TA’s movements through the lab room, so getting to apply these analytical skills in a respectable professional setting was a dream come true. It really validates everything I have worked for in college.”
Although many students shared similar success stories, other summer interns were less enthusiastic about translating the Stanford curriculum from the classroom setting to an office environment.
“At school, I was always presented with standard auditorium arrangements where the lecturer stands in front of you, and the TAs remain static in their seats throughout the exercise,” complained a student finishing a ten-week consulting internship.
“But once you get out in the real world, you suddenly have cubicles on all four sides of you, coworkers walking about at random intervals to use the restroom, and even meddling systems administers who can check your browsing history.
Stanford never prepared me for anything like this.”
In an attempt to bolster their curriculum and better prepare students for the realities of the modern workforce, Stanford professors have announced an Honors Track that will cover more advanced topics in subtle Internet browsing, culminating in a Thesis Project on how to avoid detection while enjoying YouTube videos – and even soft-core porn – at the office.