Predictions: Stanford vs. Cal

STANFORD 28, CAL 0: Stanford has the best coach, the best offensive line, and the most complete defense in the game of football. Cal students are bitter about not getting into Stanford.

STANFORD 147, CAL 0: The Cardinal defense can’t be penetrated.

Cal is a school full of cowards.

STANFORD 1000, CAL 0: Cal’s offense sucks as usual.

Andrew Luck will have a field day against Cal’s shitty defense. The tree will cum on the Golden Bear’s face. Cal sucks.