Circle Of Tourists Finds Something Very Funny

June 5, 2017 12:00 pm
Circle Of Tourists Finds Something Very Funny
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Stanford Psychology Department Encourages Students To Respond To All Questions Using Week Numbers

May 22, 2017 12:00 pm
Stanford Psychology Department Encourages Students To Respond To All Questions Using Week Numbers

The Stanford psychology department just finished testing and now plans to implement a new pilot program that encourages students to respond to questions or incite conversation with “week numbers” in order to facilitate more successful interpersonal and peer-to-peer communication at Stanford. Fueled by a prevalent campus-wide sentiment that rigorous academics […]

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New Wine Tasting Class Teaches Students How To Intimidate People With Their Wealth

May 15, 2017 12:00 pm
New Wine Tasting Class Teaches Students How To Intimidate People With Their Wealth

After hearing concerns that FRENLANG 60D French Viticulture, inadequately prepared students for the experience of wine-tasting in the real world, Stanford will introduce a new course that will more appropriately teach students how to bully their lessers with their carefully curated taste in fineries. “FRENLANG 600D will introduce Stanford students […]

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Darty Season Bittersweet For Day-Drinking Alcoholic

12:00 pm
Darty Season Bittersweet For Day-Drinking Alcoholic

The day party. A darty, if you will. With weather warming up and spring quarter in full swing, darty season is upon us. And it couldn’t have come soon enough for the budding alcoholics of Stanford University. “Honestly it’s great. Instead of having to drink alone in my room in the […]

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Students Joining “Fuck Caterpillars” Club Confused If Sexytime Fuck or Derogatory Fuck

May 8, 2017 12:00 pm
Students Joining “Fuck Caterpillars” Club Confused If Sexytime Fuck or Derogatory Fuck

STANFORD – As a larger and larger crowd built at Old Union for Stanford’s new “Fuck Caterpillars” club, it became clear that some students were confused as to whether “Fuck” referred to the physical act of love-making or the popular vernacular expression of contempt, sources confirmed Sunday. Even following the […]

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OpEd: I totally screwed my Roo by framing him for murder

May 1, 2017 12:00 pm
OpEd: I totally screwed my Roo by framing him for murder

Hey, Gibby here. I know there’s technically no “winner” of Screw your Roo, an event put on in most freshmen dorms to help get your roommate screwed, but if there was, I might as well be handed the prize right now. Rather than going the normal route of setting my […]

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Report: Discussion Section Dominated By That One Student Who Actually Does The Reading

April 30, 2017 12:00 pm
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Multiple sources have confirmed that there is one student in the 1:30PM discussion section of the Rhetoric of Origami that really just monopolizes the conversation, as he is the sole student to consistently complete the assigned readings. Students reportedly had identified the troublesome student Adam Thatcher in the 12 person […]

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Op-ed: ASSU elections are just a big popularity contest, and it looks like we’re the mothafuckin’ winners

April 17, 2017 12:01 pm
Op-ed: ASSU elections are just a big popularity contest, and it looks like we’re the mothafuckin’ winners

Editor’s note: This article was written on Saturday, prior to the release of the ASSU election results. Like you, we’re pretty damn sure the Flipside slate will win. Come on. Everyone knows that elections for ASSU exec are just a big popularity contest- a way for the cool, social, pretty […]

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Sorority Enters Annual Molting Season

April 10, 2017 12:01 pm
Sorority Enters Annual Molting Season

With the smell of rush still ripe in the spring air, Tau Omega sorority has once more entered their annual molting season, thus beginning to shed their earthly forms, reborn and ready for new members. The chapter’s house is already littered with crafts, glitter, yummy snacks, and—both most importantly and […]

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Local Freshman Only One Not Doing Rush Limbaugh

12:00 pm
Local Freshman Only One Not Doing Rush Limbaugh

Sitting alone in the Donner common area while intermittent thuds emanated from every single other room in the building, local freshman Demetrius Klumpp came to the discomforting realization late Friday night that he was the only person in the entire university not doing Rush Limbaugh. “I guess I didn’t get […]

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