Articles by: Rachel Louise

Stanford Admits 0.0% to Class of 2018

April 17, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Stanford Admits 0.0% to Class of 2018
Stanford Admits 0.0% to Class of 2018

Over the past decade, college admissions rates have continued to plummet nationwide. But Stanford University made history this early April when the Dean of Undergraduate Admission, Richard H. Shaw, announced an unprecedented acceptance rate of 0.0% for the Class of 2018. With the number of applications approximated at 83,710 students, […]

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WANTED: One Night Stand

November 14, 2011 6:00 amComments Off on WANTED: One Night Stand
WANTED: One Night Stand

Preferably white, with thin legs and stylish curves. Should be about waist-high. Won’t mind holding stacks of books, dirty dishes, and an alarm clock. Swedish design preferred.

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Kappa Sig Frat Sets Record For Number of Girls Sleeping Over

October 4, 2011 9:00 amComments Off on Kappa Sig Frat Sets Record For Number of Girls Sleeping Over
Kappa Sig Frat Sets Record For Number of Girls Sleeping Over

On the first night of the quarter, the residence of Kappa Sigma set a record for the number of girls caught spending the night. The grand total of thirty-two girls shattered the previous record of three, a figure that had stood on the books since 1924. Especially surprising was the […]

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Why YOU Should Join Alpha Phi, Stanford’s Newest Sorority!

April 17, 2011 9:00 amComments Off on Why YOU Should Join Alpha Phi, Stanford’s Newest Sorority!
Why YOU Should Join Alpha Phi, Stanford’s Newest Sorority!

• We accept girls with all shades of blonde hair • To please our national charter, we love doing many unique, philanthropic events such as: ⁃ Annual Fundraiser for Chronically Shy Girls ⁃ Pancake Sundays, where we give away all the pancakes that have too many carbs for us to […]

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Pedophile Community Unites on LikeALittle

November 30, 2010 9:00 amComments Off on Pedophile Community Unites on LikeALittle
Pedophile Community Unites on LikeALittle

In Front of Elementary School: Female, Blonde. The way you were sucking that lollipop while swinging your lunch pail just made me crazy for you. Will you hop in my white minivan? The diaspora of pedophiles have found a new community where they can let their voices be heard. Since […]

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Where Do You Like It?

October 8, 2010 1:18 amComments Off on Where Do You Like It?
Where Do You Like It?

Where do you like it?customer surveys

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For Sale: 1 bedroom 0 bath in Wilbur

September 26, 2010 2:39 pmComments Off on For Sale: 1 bedroom 0 bath in Wilbur
For Sale: 1 bedroom 0 bath in Wilbur

This 1 bedroom, 0 bathroom suite is luxuriously located on the finely groomed grounds of the world-renowned Stanford University. Featuring two carved pine beds and a pristine view of the manicured Wilbur courtyards, this 192 sq. ft. room will allow you to feel instantly at home. Don’t miss the set […]

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