JUUL Releases Milk-Flavored Vapes for Infants

After banning flavors like mango, crème, and cucumber, due to deep investigations…

Student Gets Honor-Coded for Suicide Note

In the first-ever case of its kind, a third-year student faces disciplinary…

Rubber Ducky on Jeep Dashboard Wonders If There’s More to Life Than This

Lorem Ipsum Finally Translated, And It Is Shockingly Problematic

“Lorem Ipsum” the classic filler text on digital writing templates has finally…

Man Struggles with Diagnosis of Narcoleptic Sperm

Lorraine and John, a local couple trying to get pregnant, have recently…

Executive Order: Pardons Only Valid for Turkeys Who Participated in January 6th

Trump signed a new executive order invalidating the ceremonial pardons of all…

Archaeological Breakthrough? Uncovered Cave Paintings in Nightclub Bathroom Point to Signs of Ancient Civilization

When first-year archaeology PhD student, Skylar Poe, went to use the restroom…

Branner Dining Does Its Part to Defend the Defenseless Against Natural Selection

Stanford Residential and Dining Enterprises made the bold decision this year to…

Opinion: Girls Scouts of America Troops Walked So DOGE Could Run

Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency has been a central interest for…

Didn’t Get a Bid at Rush This Year? These 10 Highly-Selective Terrorist Groups are Still Accepting Members.