Halloween Midterms Just Finished, Now It’s Time to Enter Final Form

Halloweekend, close second for the title of “drunkest five days on campus”…

FBI Typo Confusing “Columbae” with “Colombia” Leads to Stanford Drug Bust

Two Stanford undergraduates, sophomore Preston Stippen and junior Levi Schumaker, are filing a…

Play-by-Play of the perfect Marriage Pact Date

Matrimony. The very pinnacle of life and romance. Endless tax breaks, free…

Over 20% of Stanford Safety Reports Filed by Frosh Males “thuggin’ home from that sickass party, ready to bool.”

In a new study released by the new Stanford Health & Innovation…

Underwhelmed by your bomb threat typeface

It’s common knowledge that all proper criminals have fantastic marketing. For the…

Class of 2027 Student Spotlight: They’re All Pieces of Shit

Ah yes. Admit weekend.  Swarms of lanky to-be freshmen wander the vast campus, not…

We ran the numbers. At its deepest, Lake Lag is 15 stories tall.

Utilizing high state-of-the-arts technology, Lauren Yu and her team of researchers used…

Armed Security Kills 10 and Injures 47 as students cross Bankman-Fried barricade to attend mid Synergy Party

At 2:30 am last Friday, numerous urgent calls were phoned into Vaden…

Daily Takes Major L (working title)

As an educated, well-read woman of distinguished title whose pedagogical and didactic…

Higher Prices Aren’t Making Munger Any Less Sad

Hey, I get it. Life’s been rough out there in the big…