STANFORD, CA—A young and sprightly group of founders in Donner made waves today with their announcement of a revolutionary new AI wrapper that tells people what time it is. The application, called “TimeAI,” is already available on both the iOS App Store and Google Play Store with a cumulative three downloads since launch and several reviews of over zero stars.
“In this increasingly turbulent world, time is more important than ever. That’s why I took a leave of absence to build TimeAI—the world’s next generation tool to solve the perennial ephemeral plight plaguing this century,” ejaculated co-founder and CEO Kingston Applebaum.
TimeAI is incredibly easy to use. After downloading the 10 GB application and inputting your name, date of birth, social security number, and mother’s maiden name, you finally can ask the new TimeAI bot, “What time is it?” and get a lightning fast response in under one minute.
“It’s truly astounding what some 18 year olds with access to today’s technology can accomplish,” remarked Professor James Applebaum. “This Kingston kid must have some really good genetics.”
The app promises to revolutionize the way you do anything and everything. In a pitch to investors, the co-founders emphasized revolutionary features like being able to tell a hot babe in the street the time or being able to figure out which of your tweets were posted at 3 am (all of them). The app is free for all to use, provided they watch three thirty-second male enhancement pill advertisements prior to their “time query.”
YC application pending.
