Post Tagged with: "football"

Jordan Williamson Returns from Curing Cancer, Fans Still Boo

November 4, 2013 12:01 pmComments Off on Jordan Williamson Returns from Curing Cancer, Fans Still Boo
Jordan Williamson Returns from Curing Cancer, Fans Still Boo

Stanford kicker Jordan Williamson is scheduled to return this week in the Cardinal’s hotly-anticipated showdown with Oregon, after having spent the intervening two weeks synthesizing a cure for throat cancer and spending his free time investigating ways to help end the hunger problems in the Third World. Initial reports, however, […]

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Administration Offers Red Zone Points For Attending Under-Enrolled Lectures

October 31, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Administration Offers Red Zone Points For Attending Under-Enrolled Lectures
Administration Offers Red Zone Points For Attending Under-Enrolled Lectures

Students can now step outside of their academic comfort zone into…the Red Zone! The administration has teamed up with the athletic department to bolster interest in traditionally under-enrolled courses by offering Red Zone points for attendance. Students can receive one point per lecture attended, with extra Red Zone points awarded […]

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Stanford Dominates Hapless Oregon State 20-12

October 29, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Stanford Dominates Hapless Oregon State 20-12
Stanford Dominates Hapless Oregon State 20-12

Saturday night’s game between Stanford and host Oregon State may have been billed as a clash of ranked Pac-12 titans, but viewers looking for some semblance of competitive football came away disappointed, as the game quickly turned into a laughingstock. Stanford came roaring out of the gates, jumping to an […]

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Distracted by Football Game, Student Misses Exciting Action on Stadium Twitter Board

October 22, 2013 9:05 amComments Off on Distracted by Football Game, Student Misses Exciting Action on Stadium Twitter Board
Distracted by Football Game, Student Misses Exciting Action on Stadium Twitter Board

After returning from Stanford’s thrilling victory against UCLA, sophomore Kerry Wilhelms was devastated to learn that her excitement over plays like Kodi Whitfield’s one-handed touchdown catch had caused her to miss scintillating in-game Twitter highlights like “oh hey…oh yay…Stanford get a win today.” “All night, my dorm mates reminisced about […]

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Kevin Hogan Severely Mishandles Final Two Handoffs in Stanford Loss

October 13, 2013 1:22 pmComments Off on Kevin Hogan Severely Mishandles Final Two Handoffs in Stanford Loss
Kevin Hogan Severely Mishandles Final Two Handoffs in Stanford Loss

After leading an effective 82-yard drive to bring Stanford within six yards of victory in Saturday afternoon’s game against Utah, previously-unbeaten quarterback Kevin Hogan dramatically mishandled the last two handoffs, ending the Cardinal rally and dropping Stanford’s record to 5-1 on the year. “We line up behind the biggest offensive […]

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The Freshman Guide to Stanford Football 2013

September 23, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on The Freshman Guide to Stanford Football 2013
The Freshman Guide to Stanford Football 2013

Since arriving on campus, you may have heard that Stanford is the defending Rose Bowl Champions. (If you haven’t heard this yet, say that previous sentence aloud and then you will have.) Because the NCAA does this silly thing where it does not adjust to the whims of Stanford’s academic […]

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NFL Rejects NRA’s “The Only Thing That Can Stop a Bad Guy With a Football is a Good Guy With a Football” Proposal to Use Two Footballs in Super Bowl

February 4, 2013 12:01 pmComments Off on NFL Rejects NRA’s “The Only Thing That Can Stop a Bad Guy With a Football is a Good Guy With a Football” Proposal to Use Two Footballs in Super Bowl
NFL Rejects NRA’s “The Only Thing That Can Stop a Bad Guy With a Football is a Good Guy With a Football” Proposal to Use Two Footballs in Super Bowl
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Ray Lewis to Become Terrifying Middle School Gym Teacher

12:00 pmComments Off on Ray Lewis to Become Terrifying Middle School Gym Teacher
Ray Lewis to Become Terrifying Middle School Gym Teacher
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Kicker Jordan Williamson Misses Wide Left, then Wide Middle

November 18, 2012 2:49 pmComments Off on Kicker Jordan Williamson Misses Wide Left, then Wide Middle
Kicker Jordan Williamson Misses Wide Left, then Wide Middle
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Peyton Manning Leaves Football to Focus on his Papa John’s Commercial Career

March 12, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on Peyton Manning Leaves Football to Focus on his Papa John’s Commercial Career
Peyton Manning Leaves Football to Focus on his Papa John’s Commercial Career

After being cut by the Colts last week, Peyton Manning has decided to walk away from the game of football and into the game of Papa John’s commercials. “I’ve done a couple commercials for Papa. We even got to the super bowl once,” Peyton said as he replaced his football […]

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