Stanford kicker Jordan Williamson is scheduled to return this week in the Cardinal’s hotly-anticipated showdown with Oregon, after having spent the intervening two weeks synthesizing a cure for throat cancer and spending his free time investigating ways to help end the hunger problems in the Third World. Initial reports, however, […]

Students can now step outside of their academic comfort zone into…the Red Zone! The administration has teamed up with the athletic department to bolster interest in traditionally under-enrolled courses by offering Red Zone points for attendance. Students can receive one point per lecture attended, with extra Red Zone points awarded […]

Saturday night’s game between Stanford and host Oregon State may have been billed as a clash of ranked Pac-12 titans, but viewers looking for some semblance of competitive football came away disappointed, as the game quickly turned into a laughingstock. Stanford came roaring out of the gates, jumping to an […]

After returning from Stanford’s thrilling victory against UCLA, sophomore Kerry Wilhelms was devastated to learn that her excitement over plays like Kodi Whitfield’s one-handed touchdown catch had caused her to miss scintillating in-game Twitter highlights like “oh hey…oh yay…Stanford get a win today.” “All night, my dorm mates reminisced about […]

After leading an effective 82-yard drive to bring Stanford within six yards of victory in Saturday afternoon’s game against Utah, previously-unbeaten quarterback Kevin Hogan dramatically mishandled the last two handoffs, ending the Cardinal rally and dropping Stanford’s record to 5-1 on the year. “We line up behind the biggest offensive […]

Since arriving on campus, you may have heard that Stanford is the defending Rose Bowl Champions. (If you haven’t heard this yet, say that previous sentence aloud and then you will have.) Because the NCAA does this silly thing where it does not adjust to the whims of Stanford’s academic […]

After being cut by the Colts last week, Peyton Manning has decided to walk away from the game of football and into the game of Papa John’s commercials. “I’ve done a couple commercials for Papa. We even got to the super bowl once,” Peyton said as he replaced his football […]