5 Dead, 10 Egos Bruised in Horrible FroSoCo Chat List Incident

Student Rollout Actually Student Kidnapping

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FroSoCo Concerned About Privacy, Elects To Move Further From Campus

Student Shocked to Discover Friends Can See Status Updates

President Cardona Slow to Respond to Great Lag Milk Spill

Last Wednesday, the student body of Stanford was devastated when freshman Jack…

Phenomenal Court Mopping Propels Stanford to First NCAA Volleyball Championship Since 1978

Reminiscent of bat-boy legend Jake Newman’s phenomenal 1987 performance that propelled Stanford…

Lebron James to Sign with the Stanford Cardinal

League sources have confirmed that superstar LeBron James plans to opt out…

Black Community Center Only Has Colored Printing

AlertSU Update: There Are Fireworks, and There’s Probably Also Another Peeper

Too Many Onions Cause Pow-wow Participants to Leave in Trail of Tears