Student stands up during Zoom session, revealing that they’re not wearing pants and also have the legs and torso of a horse

RA Who Got Sent Home Still Leaving Bowl of Condoms Outside Room for Parents to Use

When the majority of undergraduate students were told to leave campus, ResEd…

STANFORD UNDER INVESTIGATION BY DRUG ENFORCEMENT AGENCY: University Reportedly Selling Student Drugs to Make Up for Rapidly Dwindling Endowment

Following the well-handled and not-at-all-haphazard evacuation of undergraduate dorms, Stanford University has…

Pay Cut Prompts Provost Drell to Move Into Shack, Begin Eating Nothing But ‘Deliciously Imperfect’ Vegetables

Following the news that Persis Drell will be taking a self-imposed 20%…

If You Liked English 92 You’ll Like Petite Step-Sister MILF, Declares Updated CARTA 

Drug Dealers Table at Career Fair, Pitch Opportunity to Make World a Better Place

Every spring, hundreds of men and women clad in suits and dress…

Florence Abroad Program Moved to Quarantined Spaghetti Factory Near Florence Where Students Learn How to Make Spaghetti

Following increasing reports of a coronavirus outbreak in northern Italy, rumors around…

Stanford Mall Closes Down as Massive “Sue Mobs” Swarm the Parking Lots in Hopes of Free Tuition

Over the past few weeks, mass hysteria has swept over the parking…