ASSU Introduces Joint Resolution in Wake of Latest Squabble

October 25, 2008 9:41 pm
ASSU Introduces Joint Resolution in Wake of Latest Squabble

After endlessly bickering over a $2800 disaster known as the Welcome Barbecue, Senators Luukas Ilves ’09 and Yvorn Aswad-Thomas ’11 offered a joint resolution in the hopes of restoring collegiality and camaraderie among the divided student leaders. The resolution stipulated that a joint be passed around the chamber, with Senate […]

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Student Mistakes Rollout For Earthquake

October 24, 2008 12:37 am
Student Mistakes Rollout For Earthquake
[audio:s1.mp3|titles=Student Mistakes Rollout For Earthquake] Read more ›

Whats Your Number? : Famous FMOTQ Scores

October 19, 2008 1:43 pm
Whats Your Number? : Famous FMOTQ Scores

President John L. Hennessey 42, and they were all freshman Dean Julie – 2, all tongue Michelle Wie – 68, 3 under par Provost John Etchemendy – 612, at least President Herbert Hoover – 0, was studying to become President Justice Sandra Day O’Connor – 9, a fair and balanced […]

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Michelle Wie Wins Full Moon Open: Scores 68, 3 Under Par

1:25 pm
Michelle Wie Wins Full Moon Open: Scores 68, 3 Under Par
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“He Licked My Face!” : Overzealous Kisser Terrorizes Freshmen at Full Moon Festivities

1:18 pm
“He Licked My Face!” : Overzealous Kisser Terrorizes Freshmen at Full Moon Festivities
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Student Accidentally Wanders Into Sketchy Grad Student Corner At Full Moon on the Quad

1:14 pm
Student Accidentally Wanders Into Sketchy Grad Student Corner At Full Moon on the Quad

HISTORY CORNER, THE QUAD–Freshman student and first time Full-Moon goer Samantha Pelerman found herself overwhelmed and confused as she entered a sea of sketchy grad students last Tuesday at Full Moon on the Quad. “There were at least twenty of them who rushed up to me at once and swore […]

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37% of Full Moon Revelers Identify as Both ‘Senior’ and ‘Freshman’

1:10 pm
37% of Full Moon Revelers Identify as Both ‘Senior’ and ‘Freshman’

According to exit polls conducted by undercover reporters, 72% of Full Moon attendees were freshmen, while seniors accounted for another 65%. Surprisingly, 0% of poll responders identified themselves as sketchy graduate students. Statisticians in the math department analyzed these curious findings and released their reports late last night. “We have […]

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University Physicists Strategically Plan First Full Moon To Be Day Before Midterm

1:01 pm
University Physicists Strategically Plan First Full Moon To Be Day Before Midterm

VARIAN BUILDING–After hours upon hours of equations and tinkering with nature, the Stanford University physicists emerged from the depths of the Varian basement with a solution to one of the most pressing university problems: How to calm down the insane annual event that has come to be known as Full […]

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Lone Sophomore Responsible For Full Mono on the Quad

1:00 pm
Lone Sophomore Responsible For Full Mono on the Quad
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Study Finds Research Results Skewed By Students Looking For Beer Money

October 12, 2008 2:15 am
Study Finds Research Results Skewed By Students Looking For Beer Money

By Gregory Linsch STANFORD—The Stanford Psychology department just released the results to a revolutionary study that they had been conducting over the past forty years: 93.2% of the results they have obtained from surveys and studies conducted on college campuses have come from students looking for beer money. Some are […]

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