Man Good Puncher, Other Better

May 4, 2015 12:00 pm
Man Good Puncher, Other Better

PUNCH-DOME, LAS VEGAS – This past weekend, in the storied Punch-Dome in Las Vegas, Nevada, two reportedly good punchers met to compare their punching skills. It was certain that only one of the two punchers would be declared the better of the two at their shared hobby, but it was […]

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Mayweather Imagines Ex-Girlfriend’s Face Superimposed onto Pacquiao’s, Powers to Victory

May 2, 2015 10:49 pm
Mayweather Imagines Ex-Girlfriend’s Face Superimposed onto Pacquiao’s, Powers to Victory

Faced with perhaps his toughest challenge yet, Floyd Mayweather dug down deep Saturday at the MGM Grand to maintain his unblemished record and take down Manny Pacquiao on points. Mayweather’s camp indicated that Money was forced to dig into his deep bag of tricks in order to pull off the […]

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Flip-Fit: Crank the Intensity

April 27, 2015 12:00 pm
Flip-Fit: Crank the Intensity

   Hello. I’m not writing this because I care about you. I’m writing this because I have a song stuck in my head. It’s called “Intensity.” It goes like this: “Intensity, intensity, intensity.” Intensity is the greatest and most terrible joy. Intensity is the hell you crave. Intensity is a […]

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Studies Show Stanford Students Pee Outside the Bowl

April 23, 2015 9:00 am
Studies Show Stanford Students Pee Outside the Bowl

After a yearlong survey conducted by R&DE with data collected by the housing staff, a startling result has been concluded: on average, Stanford students, especially male students, seem to experience difficulty aiming into the bowl. After receiving complaints about the staining and yellowing bathroom floors around campus, R&DE has begun […]

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Johnny Dawkins Spends Restful Spring Break in Cabo

March 20, 2015 4:26 pm
Johnny Dawkins Spends Restful Spring Break in Cabo

Sucking freely from the bendy straw that contained his third Mai Tai of the day, Johnny Dawkins seemed relaxed after earning a well-deserved Spring Break through the stagnancy of his coaching. While the Stanford Men’s Basketball team will continue their postseason play in the NIT, Dawkins will be staying at […]

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University of Phoenix Awards Super Bowl Players with BA in Business Administration

February 2, 2015 12:01 pm
University of Phoenix Awards Super Bowl Players with BA in Business Administration

GLENDALE, ARIZ.—Long after the fireworks and the confetti had settled on the turf, prizes still abounded for the players involved in this year’s Super Bowl. After the trophy presentation, The University of Phoenix, whose name graces the stadium in which Super Bowl XLIX was held, awarded every player with a […]

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Patriots’ Balls Smaller Than Claimed

January 28, 2015 9:00 am
Patriots’ Balls Smaller Than Claimed

NFL officials published a report this past week indicating that despite being cleared by a referee before their most recent game, the New England Patriots’ balls did not meet league standards for size. Bill Belichick, Patriots head coach, refused to comment at length on the controversy, shouting “ Size doesn’t matter!” while fleeing […]

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The Flipside Friday Night Game Report

January 16, 2015 9:00 am
The Flipside Friday Night Game Report

It’s Saturday night at the Kappa Alpha frat and it is a full house tonight! The star of our show tonight, is local bro Mark Zimmer, and he is in the pocket with his eyes on the target, straight downfield. His bud hikes him a Bud Light, and after a […]

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Students Shocked to Find Big Game Actually Matters This Year

November 17, 2014 12:01 pm
Students Shocked to Find Big Game Actually Matters This Year

Much to their chagrin, students at both Stanford and Cal were shocked to find out this week that, for once, the Big Game actually mattered. With both teams mired in the midst of mediocrity at 5 wins, students on both campuses reported a distinct sense of unease as they discovered […]

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After Four Years of Dominance, Stanford Students Forced to Recalibrate Expectations

October 27, 2014 12:00 pm
After Four Years of Dominance, Stanford Students Forced to Recalibrate Expectations

As fall quarter midterms exact their toll on exhausted pupils, the Stanford community is once again reminded how entire groups of students, accustomed to being exceptional for the last four years, must suddenly come to terms with the feeling of being average. “I think it’s a very difficult transition for […]

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