True to the predictions of several conservative pundits and bloggers, electing the progressive, thoughtful Barack Obama has taken its toll on the nation’s collective cojones, which have been shrinking considerably since November 4th. Urologist Alan Yanofsky examined the emasculated country in a routine, post-election check-up. “It seems a lack of […]

Barack Obama, president-elect of the United States, released on Sunday his schedule for the first day of his term as president, which will go down in history as a truly historic day. Items on his schedule include: First African-American Presidential Breakfast First African-American Presidential Tooth Brushing First African-American Presidential Morning […]

The San Jose Mercury News reported Friday that porn kingpin Larry Flynt is in the process of finishing the final touches to his latest porn video starring Palin look-alike Lisa Ann. The film titled “Nailin Paylin” is set to hit porn shops before the November election and is said to […]

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a move that critics around the nation are calling “preposterous”, Congress rejected a bailout plan for inmate number 36788 of the Arlington County Jail. Inmate number 36788 has been in the Arlington County Jail for fifteen years now, serving a sentence for murder, money laundering, and curfew violation. […]