Disastrous Iowa Caucuses Were Using Stanford Web Authentication Services, Investigation Reveals

February 6, 2020 1:19 am
Disastrous Iowa Caucuses Were Using Stanford Web Authentication Services, Investigation Reveals

Technological and infrastructural complications with the Iowa caucuses earlier this week have been traced to one fatal flaw, third-party investigators have announced: the Iowa Democratic National Committee’s online voting infrastructure relied on Stanford web authentication services in order to process voters. After half-a-dozen different parts of the Iowa DNC’s voting […]

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John Bolton Catfished Into Congressional Testimony by Adam Schiff Pretending to be Busty Young Ukrainian

February 2, 2020 4:29 pm
John Bolton Catfished Into Congressional Testimony by Adam Schiff Pretending to be Busty Young Ukrainian

As a result of growing uncertainty surrounding whether current Challenger rank I in League of Legends and former national security advisor John Bolton would testify in the ongoing impeachment trial of Donald Trump or not, it was a shock to all in the courtroom when Mr. Bolton charged into the […]

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Flipside Proudly Endorses Elizabeth Warren, Amy Klobuchar, Hillary Clinton, Julia Child, Katy Perry, the “Tiger Mom,” and 282 Other Women for President

4:26 pm
Flipside Proudly Endorses Elizabeth Warren, Amy Klobuchar, Hillary Clinton, Julia Child, Katy Perry, the “Tiger Mom,” and 282 Other Women for President

Following the New York Times editorial board’s recent dual endorsement of candidates Elizabeth Warren and Amy Klobuchar for U.S. president, the Stanford Flipside is proud to announce its own endorsement of not only Warren and Klobuchar but also Tulsi Gabbard, Kamala Harris, Margaret Thatcher, Nicole Brown Simpson, Sheryl Sandberg, Eva […]

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Facing Impeachment, Trump Recruits the One Man He Hoped He’d Never Have to Ask for Help: Duke Vengeance, PI

4:23 pm
Facing Impeachment, Trump Recruits the One Man He Hoped He’d Never Have to Ask for Help: Duke Vengeance, PI

As the stresses of his impeachment process slowly build, sources within the White House report that President Donald Trump has finally cracked under the pressure and hired the one man he swore he’d never ask for help again: Duke Vengeance, private investigator. According to anonymous staffers, Trump sought out the […]

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Former SCR President Finally Leaves Hospital 16 Months After “The Push”

January 24, 2020 10:18 am
Former SCR President Finally Leaves Hospital 16 Months After “The Push”
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PSA: Stanford Vibe Police on High Alert

November 20, 2019 9:52 pm
PSA: Stanford Vibe Police on High Alert

We have received word from several reputable sources that the rumors are true. The Stanford Administration has determined that there are too many people with “rancid” vibes about campus, and have been taking drastic and authoritarian measures to “correct” the vibe atmosphere on campus. For the entirety of this school […]

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Hubris Punished: Winnie the Pooh Castrated for Having Larger Scrotum Than Zeus

October 23, 2019 12:00 pm
Hubris Punished: Winnie the Pooh Castrated for Having Larger Scrotum Than Zeus

Alas, the wretched Winnie the Pooh has finally reaped that which he’d sewn, for his monstrous testes have now been shorn from groin by the Almighty Zeus himself. Pooh, that horrid, horny bear, dared not only to possess a scrote larger than that of the Lightning God, but what more, […]

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Amid Human Rights Abuses and Declining Support for Local Regime, U.S. Backs Coup in Flint, Michigan

May 21, 2019 7:00 pm
Amid Human Rights Abuses and Declining Support for Local Regime, U.S. Backs Coup in Flint, Michigan

As the humanitarian crisis worsens and citizens grow increasingly critical of local leadership, the U.S. Department of State has announced that it will begin actively pursuing regime change in Flint, Michigan to prevent further human rights abuses. Although widespread lead contamination of the city’s water first began in 2014, officials […]

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Flipside News in Brief: Georgian Mistresses, AAU Surveys, and Night Rabbits

May 18, 2019 4:49 pm
Georgia State Capitol Building in Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

Georgia Passes de facto Abortion Ban, Exception for Senators’ Mistresses News came last week of a Georgia bill outlawing abortions, a potential challenge to the Supreme Court’s Roe v. Wade ruling. Interestingly, the fine print of the bill includes a single loophole — women ages 18 to 22 working under the […]

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Theresa May Only One Surprised by EU Release of Kraken into English Channel

April 22, 2019 11:55 am
Theresa May Only One Surprised by EU Release of Kraken into English Channel

In a totally foreseeable move this past Tuesday, the European Union (EU) enacted Military Operation 17C, nicknamed “The Tentacled Menace,” in response to the UK’s inability to come to terms on the withdrawal agreement. Publicly regarded as the EU’s strongest military weapon, the “Tentacled Menace” is none other than the […]

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