Op-ed: Does Anyone Want To Buy Me A Recorder?

January 29, 2018 9:00 am
Op-ed: Does Anyone Want To Buy Me A Recorder?

Hey there! Little Jimmy in the house. I know we haven’t formally met, but I’ve got a quick question for you: do you want to buy me a recorder? Doesn’t have to be fancy, just anything made out of a nice, durable plastic should do the trick. You can find […]

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Op Ed: Sure, The Glass is Half Full, But It’s Half Full of Horse Piss and My Cousin Robb is Making Me Touch It

9:00 am
Op Ed: Sure, The Glass is Half Full, But It’s Half Full of Horse Piss and My Cousin Robb is Making Me Touch It
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Vegan Pervert Spies on Salad Dressing

January 23, 2018 7:13 pm
Vegan Pervert Spies on Salad Dressing
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An Ode to My Five-Bladed Razor

January 16, 2018 12:00 pm
An Ode to My Five-Bladed Razor

To my beloved five-bladed razor, words cannot describe the longing I feel for you. I have left you behind me, back in the sweet Napa Valley in my haste to pack. You have kept me from looking like a complete hobo through good times and bad, through interviews and finals weeks, and for that […]

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Health Scare: This Grandma Got HIV After Sharing a Knitting Needle

January 15, 2018 12:00 pm
Health Scare: This Grandma Got HIV After Sharing a Knitting Needle
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Palo Alto Geisha Tournament Off To An Exciting Start

December 4, 2017 5:00 pm
Palo Alto Geisha Tournament Off To An Exciting Start

Reporting the event had surpassed all expectations and was likely one of the more engrossing public spectacles they had ever witnessed, local sources confirmed yesterday that this year’s Palo Alto Geisha Tournament—or PAG—was off to a thrilling start. Boasting an impressive lineup of the most talented Japanese female entertainers in […]

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Op Ed: If I Hook Up With The Girl Across The Hall, It’s Dormcest, But If I Hook Up With My Cousin Across The Hall, It’s Incest

November 13, 2017 12:00 pm
Portrait of boy going college with friends in background
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Man Drinking Soylent Has No Time For Childish Frivolities Like Solid Food

October 30, 2017 12:00 pm
Man Drinking Soylent Has No Time For Childish Frivolities Like Solid Food

STANFORD, CA — Monday at 9:26am, senior Computer Science major Waldorf Panderlin was seen biking across main quad, gulping Soylent from a 2-liter bottle on his way to CS 103. “No time!” he shrieked at our Flipside field reporter when asked to comment. More bags of powdered foodstuffs were visible […]

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Local Frat Brother Concerned After Nor Cal Fires Rage Through Wine Country

October 23, 2017 12:00 pm
Local Frat Brother Concerned After Nor Cal Fires Rage Through Wine Country

Stating that he was “totally distraught” after hearing about how the Northern California fires had destroyed homes and lives in numerous towns and cities including many wine-growing regions, Kyle Brosner, a junior and notorious frat star,  called an emergency meeting of all the brothers of his fraternity. “I’m sure you […]

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Area Chicken Lays One-Hell-Of-A Motherfuckin’ Egg

October 5, 2017 5:00 pm
Area Chicken Lays One-Hell-Of-A Motherfuckin’ Egg

Gilroy, CA —  Farmer Fred Porter, owner of Porter farms, awoke Sunday morning to find that his prized chicken, Chad, had laid what appeared to be a dope as fuck egg. The find came as a major relief to Mr. Porter and his family, who have struggled in recent months with […]

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