Clippy Shows Dying Grandmother how to Write her Will

May 3, 2018 10:18 am
Clippy Shows Dying Grandmother how to Write her Will
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Trader Joe’s Opens Joe’s O’s, New Sister Store Sex Shop

10:10 am
Trader Joe’s Opens Joe’s O’s, New Sister Store Sex Shop

Tim Smith, CEO of Trader Joe’s, just announced this week that the multi-million dollar conglomerate is branching out and opening a new line of sex shops. The first will be opened in San Francisco, kink capital of the world, and called Joe’s O’s (short for Joe’s Orgasm’s–haha that’s straight up […]

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Feminism FTW: This Girl Eats Bugs and No One Can Get Her to Stop

April 24, 2018 2:30 pm
Feminism FTW: This Girl Eats Bugs and No One Can Get Her to Stop
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Illiterate Satirical Writer aojoaweij Ajj Direpkkap

April 9, 2018 12:00 pm
Illiterate Satirical Writer aojoaweij Ajj Direpkkap
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Report: Bird With Gun More Dangerous Than Bird Without

February 19, 2018 1:48 pm
Report: Bird With Gun More Dangerous Than Bird Without
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Dumb Idiot Hog-Morons Need Clever Satire Spoon-fed to Them

1:42 pm
Dumb Idiot Hog-Morons Need Clever Satire Spoon-fed to Them
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Escape Room: You Just Have To Jimmy The Door Handle A Little

February 12, 2018 11:02 am
Escape Room: You Just Have To Jimmy The Door Handle A Little
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Man Drinking Boba Tea Literally Sucks Balls

February 5, 2018 9:00 am
Man Drinking Boba Tea Literally Sucks Balls
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RA’s “Alcoholism” Actually Cover For La Croix Addiction

January 29, 2018 12:00 pm
RA’s “Alcoholism” Actually Cover For La Croix Addiction

STANFORD, CA – Claiming that he just couldn’t handle the secrecy anymore, Serra resident advisor Wes Weake has admitted that his infamous alcohol abuse is only a ruse he came up with to hide his addiction to La Croix. He came forward only after three freshman residents stumbled across him […]

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Op-ed: Does Anyone Want To Buy Me A Recorder?

9:00 am
Op-ed: Does Anyone Want To Buy Me A Recorder?

Hey there! Little Jimmy in the house. I know we haven’t formally met, but I’ve got a quick question for you: do you want to buy me a recorder? Doesn’t have to be fancy, just anything made out of a nice, durable plastic should do the trick. You can find […]

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