TA Spends Another Valentine’s Day Office Hours Alone

March 1, 2009 10:45 pm
TA Spends Another Valentine’s Day Office Hours Alone

With the next problem set not due until one week later, Math 51 Teaching Assistant Derek Mitchell spent his February 14th, 3:30 pm to 5 pm weekly office hours alone again in Room 380-U. “I didn’t expect there to be anything special, like a whole room of students who wanted […]

Read more ›

High School Suck-Up Encounters Much Better Suck-Ups in College

10:43 pm
High School Suck-Up Encounters Much Better Suck-Ups in College

Incoming freshman Ryan O’Connell, who considered himself an “outstanding” suck-up to authorities in high school, experienced a huge shock in his first week at Stanford when he found multiple people much more adept and experienced at the art of brownnosing. “It was just very strange,” O’Connell said. “In high school, […]

Read more ›

Awkward Silence Prolonged by Belated “Just Kidding”

10:41 pm
Awkward Silence Prolonged by Belated “Just Kidding”
Read more ›

Dormcest Leads to New Outbreak of Dormyphilis

7:47 pm
Dormcest Leads to New Outbreak of Dormyphilis

Staff from freshman dorm Cedro report that the dorm has been hit with an outbreak of dormyphilis, an infectious disease caused by excessive amounts of inter-dorm sexual relations, also known as dormcest. “We all know it’s a threat,” Cedro Resident Fellow David Fitzgerald said. “But we didn’t think it happen […]

Read more ›

Advice for Teenage Girls with Ali Weinberg

7:40 pm
Advice for Teenage Girls with Ali Weinberg

Dear Ali, So I can’t be sure, but I just saw my boyfriend Jeff holding an empty tin cup as he searched through garbage, and I think that’s when he got the shirt he wore to dinner last night, which smelled like fish. Is it just my imagination, or am […]

Read more ›

12 Unopened Condoms Quietly Mock Student

7:37 pm
12 Unopened Condoms Quietly Mock Student
Read more ›

Lone Strand of Grass Surives on Wilbur Field

7:35 pm
Lone Strand of Grass Surives on Wilbur Field
Read more ›

Free T-Shirt Giveaway Once Again Postpones Laundry

7:33 pm
Free T-Shirt Giveaway Once Again Postpones Laundry

Aaron Hetrick, a freshman from Denver, Colorado, decided once more today to just wear that new free t-shirt Stanford gave him yesterday instead of doing his laundry. “Why do my laundry when I attended the Big Game Big T-Shirt Giveaway, was a member of the class of ’12, and attended […]

Read more ›

Girl From Nearby High School Knows Some of the Same People

7:31 pm
Girl From Nearby High School Knows Some of the Same People

Kelly Jurgensen, a senior from Highland Park High School in the Chicago suburb of Highland Park, just learned that Adrienne Arnold, a sophomore from the nearby Chicago suburb of Deerfield, knows some of the same people as she does from back home. The two met through Kelly’s friend Jacqueline Fernando […]

Read more ›

Nose Goes

February 2, 2009 5:43 pm
Nose Goes
Read more ›