Everyone Gets Swine Flu Anyways, Full Moon Back On

September 27, 2009 2:55 pm
Everyone Gets Swine Flu Anyways, Full Moon Back On

Over the past few days, every student on campus has gotten the swine flu. This recent epidemic, which originated from three promiscuous freshmen in Roble, has caused Stanford to reconsider the Full Moon on the Quad event. Students argued that the school wide make-out session is no longer dangerous to […]

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Harry Potter Fans Outraged at Rowling’s Inclusion of Events Not Seen in Film



September 20, 2009 8:35 pm
Harry Potter Fans Outraged at Rowling’s Inclusion of Events Not Seen in Film



This summer, Harry Potter fans across the world united in protest against J.K. Rowling and the Harry Potter Franchise.  “The Harry Potter films are masterpieces, but Rowling just can’t let good art stand. She has to meddle, ruining the story by adding extra events and characters that make the plot […]

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Black Eyed Peas Sued for Falsely Advertising Quality of Thursday Night



8:33 pm
Black Eyed Peas Sued for Falsely Advertising Quality of Thursday Night



Lets just be honest about it, Thursday night September 10, 2009, was nothing to write home about. But that’s not what Black Eyed Peas singer Will.i.am, told a group of pre-gaming 19 year olds before they went out Thursday night. He said, “Tonight’s gonna be a good good night.” Well […]

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Student Has So Much To Do

June 1, 2009 8:02 pm
Student Has So Much To Do
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Students Turn Driving into a Drinking Game

7:59 pm
Students Turn Driving into a Drinking Game

STANFORD, CA—Stanford students have always been at the forefront of new developments in every field, and the recent breakthroughs in drinking games have been no exception. Three days ago, Electrical Engineering major Glenn Demitt ’10 and Physics PhD Huy Lin ’09 took drinking games to an entirely new level with […]

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Axe and Palm Goes National

7:57 pm
Axe and Palm Goes National

Steve Montell, Executive Director of Stanford Dining, announced on Monday that The Axe and Palm (TAP) would be embarking on a new business venture, and will be opening several franchise restaurants around the country. Montell said that the idea to sell the TAP franchise came from the overwhelming support of […]

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Yellow Fever Sufferer Seeks Pre-Assignment to Okada

7:56 pm
Yellow Fever Sufferer Seeks Pre-Assignment to Okada

Last week, very, very white Junior Matt Taloman requested medical forms to be admitted pre-assignment to the four class dorm Okada. Taloman suffers from an acute case of yellow fever, a disease transmitted through mosquito bite whose symptoms include: headache, bloody nose, condemnation of capitalism, nausea, predilection to Hello-Kitty dolls, […]

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Figures of Authority Only Tried It Once, Didn’t Inhale.

May 24, 2009 11:13 pm
Figures of Authority Only Tried It Once, Didn’t Inhale.

The public often raises uncomfortable questions about the past of important political figures. Owing to an acute sense of integrity, a number of leaders have no choice but to be candid about the minor transgressions of their youth. In fact, a small number of leaders have even admitted to trying […]

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Head Shop Implements Drug Testing to Weed Out Sober Employees

11:09 pm
Head Shop Implements Drug Testing to Weed Out Sober Employees
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Stanford Replaces Security Guards With More Security Guards

May 18, 2009 2:40 pm
Stanford Replaces Security Guards With More Security Guards
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