President Cardona Slow to Respond to Great Lag Milk Spill

May 16, 2010 1:25 pm
President Cardona Slow to Respond to Great Lag Milk Spill

Last Wednesday, the student body of Stanford was devastated when freshman Jack Porter spilled a full glass of skim milk on the floor of Lag Dining. Immediately following the spill, President Cardona was contacted and alerted of the disaster. But rather than responding immediately, Cardona waited a full half hour […]

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Earthquake Hits Applebees

May 2, 2010 11:48 am
Earthquake Hits Applebees

BAKERSFIELD, CA–In a major tragedy yesterday, an earthquake devastated a local Applebees. The Applebees had been home to several hundred consistent weekly visitors, but is now facing a minor inconvenience thanks to the quake. According to Applebees waiter and witness, Luke Crowler, “When the quake hit, the tables started to […]

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The Flip Report: April 22nd

April 22, 2010 11:19 am
The Flip Report: April 22nd

In 5 Minutes Ago Out Class of ‘14 Class of ‘13 Going to class Kappa Sig’s Homophobia ΣΑΕ’s respect for women ΔΤΔ’s respect for couches Volcanoes Earthquakes The Plague

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Video: Flipside Weekend Update

March 1, 2010 2:58 am
Video: Flipside Weekend Update
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Opinion: I may stink, but I’m saving the environment

February 4, 2010 12:22 am
Opinion: I may stink, but I’m saving the environment

By Ben Burges The environment is in danger. Each day, we go about our business—filling landfills, drilling in the arctic, killing rain forests—but do we do anything to stop it? No. Well I think this sucks, and I’m going to do something about it. Here at MIT, we know what […]

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Sky Runs Out of Water; Resorts To Cats, Dogs

January 27, 2010 6:16 pm
Sky Runs Out of Water; Resorts To Cats, Dogs

According to several reports from around the blogosphere, the entire sky has officially run out of water. With several trillion pounds of rain pouring down in the Bay Area in the past week, the sky has been unable to keep up with the increasing demand. The sky complained, “Water can […]

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Seeking Aid, Detroit Considers Artificial Earthquake

January 26, 2010 2:06 am
Seeking Aid, Detroit Considers Artificial Earthquake

With the Michigan city facing the prospect of becoming a ghost town, city lawmakers hatched an enterprising plan to restore it to prosperity: Purposefully destroying it with a man-made, 7.5 “mega-quake.” “We hope that the inevitable influx of aid and sympathy for our beleaguered city will be enough to restore […]

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Rain: Revolutionizing Awkward Small Talk Between Stanford Students

1:53 am
Rain: Revolutionizing Awkward Small Talk Between Stanford Students
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University Liquidates One Billion Dollars In Assets, Floods Quad

January 25, 2010 11:14 pm
University Liquidates One Billion Dollars In Assets, Floods Quad

STANFORD—Yesterday, the Stanford Management Company (SMC) announced the liquidation of $1 billion in assets to recoup losses from the global financial crisis. The assets in question, which included deceased Stanford presidents, securitized Mongolian yurt mortgages, and the Dish’s old SETI device, flooded the Main Quad over the last several business […]

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The Flipside Juice – Fish Sticks: Animal, Vegetable, or Mineral?

January 22, 2010 1:35 pm
The Flipside Juice – Fish Sticks: Animal, Vegetable, or Mineral?
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