Chefs and Potters Unions Show Strong Support for Prop. 19

October 31, 2010 2:35 pm
Chefs and Potters Unions Show Strong Support for Prop. 19

Both the California chefs and potters unions declared support for Proposition 19, the statewide referendum to legalize the recreational use of marijuana in California. Famous TV Chef Emeril Lagasse, a senior member of the chefs union, commented, “Pot is the most important tool for a chef. Without it, we’re nothing.” […]

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Target Introduces Real Life Shower Caddy

October 27, 2010 7:12 pm
Target Introduces Real Life Shower Caddy

After years of unsuccessful experimentation, famed golfer and budding toiletry entrepreneur Arnold Palmer teamed up with Target and awed audiences worldwide with the introduction of his newest product, The Real Life Shower Caddy. “I was just standing in the shower one day, and that’s when it hit me,” Palmer said. […]

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“Microsoft Releases New ‘Dora the Internet Explorer Web’ Browser”

October 10, 2010 2:39 pm
“Microsoft Releases New ‘Dora the Internet Explorer Web’ Browser”

Earlier this week, in an attempt to regain internet browser market share, Microsoft unveiled its new Dora the Internet Explorer web browser. The new browser includes a radically reworked graphical user interface, which prominently features Dora, the iconic little brown girl from the children’s show Dora the Explorer, who hovers […]

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New Movement Seeks to End Sexual Discrimination in Seashell-Selling Industry

October 3, 2010 2:30 pm
New Movement Seeks to End Sexual Discrimination in Seashell-Selling Industry

For as long as shelled crustaceans have inhabited Earth, a simple but powerful adage has reigned as unquestioned truth – “She sells seashells by the seashore.” Recently, this popular expression has come under attack by a group of radical seashell salesman from the Atlantic Coast. The new grassroots movement claims […]

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New LinkedIn Movie Opens: Viewers React With Mild Approval

September 26, 2010 2:40 pm
New LinkedIn Movie Opens: Viewers React With Mild Approval

The prescreening of the new LinkedIn movie, “The Online Rolodex,” opened to crowds in the tens at some cinema in Palo Alto or Menlo Park or somewhere. The movie opens with a corporate meeting of middle-aged men in business suits. They discuss what sounds like a solid business plan, and […]

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Report: Money May Not Grow On Trees, But It Does Grow On Hedges

2:37 pm
Report: Money May Not Grow On Trees, But It Does Grow On Hedges
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ASSU Undergrad Senate Grills Goldman Sachs Summer Interns

May 2, 2010 1:31 pm
ASSU Undergrad Senate Grills Goldman Sachs Summer Interns
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Wang, Sachs, Explode Onto Campus Political Scene

April 5, 2010 6:42 pm
Wang, Sachs, Explode Onto Campus Political Scene

ASSU Senate candidates Showly Wang and Rebecca Sachs are making their presence felt across campus in a campaign that has grown to epic proportions. “This is the biggest campaign I have ever seen!” said fellow candidate Jason Lupatkin. “And trust me, I’ve seen a lot of campaigns.” Wang, who is […]

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Video: Flipside Weekend Update

March 1, 2010 2:58 am
Video: Flipside Weekend Update
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Lady Gaga Wins World Series of Poker

February 2, 2010 1:32 am
Lady Gaga Wins World Series of Poker

Lady Gaga won the World Series of Poker yesterday, decisively defeating Texas Hold ‘Em players from around the world in the televised event on ESPN. The key to Gaga’s success, her flabbergasted rivals seem to think, was not so much her natural card playing ability as it was her detached […]

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