Reindeer Transportation Hopes to Offer Relief From Dependence on Foreign Oil

December 7, 2008 7:49 pm
Reindeer Transportation Hopes to Offer Relief From Dependence on Foreign Oil

Thanksgiving has come and gone, and, in the true American spirit, each and every potential customer is now completely inundated with holiday advertisements. And, what would the materialist’s month be without the quintessential TV commercials released by auto companies, showing off speed around sharp turns and sleek designs wrapped in […]

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Report: Student Is Tired

November 30, 2008 4:10 pm
Report: Student Is Tired

By Daniel Francinte STANFORD, CA–After five consecutive sleep-deprived nights and countless hours of research, the Medical School came to conclusive results and found that junior undergraduate student Alex Fontaine was tired.     They had four researchers watching him around the clock as he ate, did his homework, dozed off in […]

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Revolutionary Soft Drink Pepsialis to Hit Stores Next Week

4:07 pm
Revolutionary Soft Drink Pepsialis to Hit Stores Next Week

A collaboration between beverage giant PepsiCo and erectile dysfunction upstart Cialis has finally born fruit in the form of Pepsialis. “With Pepsialis, the goal is to quench your thirst with that refreshing Pepsi taste, while simultaneously promoting blood flow to the penile region,” declared Pepsi spokeswoman Anna Tirico. A multimedia […]

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Overheard @ Stanford

4:03 pm
Overheard @ Stanford

These are real snippets from conversations on the Stanford Campus. Send in your Overhead@Stanford to flipside@stanford.edu “Stanford should invest money in getting private jets for all of their students.” “Wasn’t that your PWR teacher?” – Sigma Nu Partier “Here’s some money.” – Student talking to a tree

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Italics Malfunction Rids Campus of Pretentious Papers

November 16, 2008 8:07 pm
Italics Malfunction Rids Campus of Pretentious Papers

A system error of Microsoft Word caused widespread disabling of the italics function earlier this week, forcing faculty and graduate students across the country to remove italicized foreign-language words from papers and articles, making their prose easier to read and less pretentious. “This is a problem of cyclopean proportions,” said […]

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President Hennessy Spotted On Campus

8:00 pm
President Hennessy Spotted On Campus

According to several eyewitnesses, Stanford President John Hennessy was seen walking between the Quad and the business school around 11:15 A.M. last Friday. This was the first sighting of the elusive Hennessy since he addressed the Class of 2012 during Orientation in mid-September. Sophomore and Hennessy-watching enthusiast Claire Naziri told […]

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Missed Connections

7:57 pm
Missed Connections

32 years ago you spoke the word “serendipity” down the subway stairs. I haven’t forgotten. Two weeks ago you posted on missed connections. Call me… To the girl on the elevator… you went to floor five… I pushed the button for you. To the girl at Axe & Palm.. do […]

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Barack Obama Gets A Sex Change; US Has First Black and Female President

November 8, 2008 9:06 pm
Barack Obama Gets A Sex Change; US Has First Black and Female President

By Dorothy Cranard WASHINGTON D.C–In order to continue his message of change, Barack Obama got a sex change yesterday to give the country its first black president, its first female president, and its first president who has received a sex change. “Like I told the people,” said Obama in his […]

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Obama’s First Presidential Action To Get, Walk New Puppy

9:04 pm
Obama’s First Presidential Action To Get, Walk New Puppy

In an unexpected course of events, president elect Barack Obama has already started making presidential decisions. Last Wednesday, just one day after being elected, Obama announced that for his first act as president he will bring change to the White House by ousting the Bush’s dog Barney. “The people of […]

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Opinion: “I Demand A Recount”

9:01 pm
Opinion: “I Demand A Recount”

By Frank the Disgruntled McCain Supporter Do you really think the U.S. just elected Barack Obama as President? Come on, America- let’s think again. This is obviously impossible. The only way Obama could have beaten John McCain would have been by using dirty techniques to rig the election. The voters […]

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