Articles by: Sarah Young

Pants-Wetting Trend Masked by Rain Downpour

March 11, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Pants-Wetting Trend Masked by Rain Downpour
Pants-Wetting Trend Masked by Rain Downpour

It has been confirmed that a number of students have been using the downpour as an opportunity to camouflage pissing themselves over the past week. This phenomenon was uncovered by Flipside investigators who observed that while the seats of many pant were soaked through, bike seats were no longer wet […]

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Tree Hopefuls Stun Campus

February 24, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Tree Hopefuls Stun Campus
Tree Hopefuls Stun Campus

As you probably know by now, last week was Tree Week, the one week out of the year when mascot-hopefuls dedicate all three hours of their free time to the pursuit of the greatest honor that can be bestowed on a Stanford student.  And even though Tree Week has come […]

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Ransom Note Found In Suspicious Backpack

February 21, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Ransom Note Found In Suspicious Backpack
Ransom Note Found In Suspicious Backpack

As you may have noticed, the Stanford community has experienced an influx of crimes and alerts.  But, if you have not been getting the excessive emails and text messages, in the past few days there have been stolen cars, suspicious backpacks, and even a kidnapping.  Coincidence? Perhaps. Upon opening the […]

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The Flipside Love Doctor

January 29, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on The Flipside Love Doctor
The Flipside Love Doctor

Hey all you single Stanford students!  Looking to find the perfect person of your dreams?  Then, lucky for you, your very own Stanford Flipside has decided to start a match-making business.  Hopping on the recent trend of successful online dating services such as eHarmony, the Flipside has decided to jump […]

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The Stanford Bible

December 27, 2013 11:59 amComments Off on The Stanford Bible
The Stanford Bible

In a true Christmas miracle, the Stanford Gospel has been delivered unto us, by the Stanford Flipside: In the beginning John Arrillaga created the institution and the campus. Now The Farm was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the fountains, and the Spirit of Jane Stanford was hovering over the waters. And Hennessy said, “Let there […]

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Stanford Police Blotter

December 3, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Stanford Police Blotter
Stanford Police Blotter

Student apprehended at Arrillaga Family Dining for stealing copious amounts of food.  He will face charges and stand before Housing and Dining Enterprises next week with the defense that there is no set measure of how much food is appropriate to take. Police responded to a noise complaint at FroSoCo […]

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Sexual Health Awareness to Penetrate All Aspects of Student Life

November 20, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Sexual Health Awareness to Penetrate All Aspects of Student Life
Sexual Health Awareness to Penetrate All Aspects of Student Life

Deciding that no part of life on campus should be left untouched by educators, Stanford’s administration has disclosed that it is giving responsibility for the creation of next year’s dorm themes explicitly to the university’s Peer Health Educators. The PHEs came together last night to allow their creative juices to […]

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New Level of Stanford Commercialism

November 8, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on New Level of Stanford Commercialism
New Level of Stanford Commercialism

In a desperate attempt to reclaim their wasted investment of supposedly $100,000 per student, Stanford has now turned to selling their humanities majors to other universities. Under pressure to maintain its status as “the millionaire factory” and its ranking as #1 on Forbes’s list, Stanford started auctioning off their less […]

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