Articles by: Rahul Prabala

Recruiters Stunned by 2017’s Record Accomplishments

October 8, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Recruiters Stunned by 2017’s Record Accomplishments
Recruiters Stunned by 2017’s Record Accomplishments

STANFORD, CA–Campus recruiters this week once again began their tri-annual journey to Stanford to recruit some of the most talented minds in the country, and they certainly weren’t disappointed.  The Class of 2017, with their impressive resumes and backgrounds, were these recruiters’ top choices in the scramble to offer students […]

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Wacky Wok Sponsored by Panda Express

June 3, 2013 1:25 pmComments Off on Wacky Wok Sponsored by Panda Express
Wacky Wok Sponsored by Panda Express
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Op-Ed: Fight Me

February 19, 2013 12:01 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: Fight Me
Op-Ed: Fight Me

Hey, you. Yeah, you fuckface. That’s right, I just insulted you with the hopes of riling you up into attacking me. What are you gonna do about it? Hit me? Come on, you know you want to. No? Alright. Well…your mother is so fat that…um, her volume would be an […]

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Report: Stanford Authorized New Bike Theft Task Force to Use ‘Enhanced Bike Retrieval Tactics’

February 4, 2013 12:01 pmComments Off on Report: Stanford Authorized New Bike Theft Task Force to Use ‘Enhanced Bike Retrieval Tactics’
Report: Stanford Authorized New Bike Theft Task Force to Use ‘Enhanced Bike Retrieval Tactics’

This week, scandal is the word on campus, as shocking reports reveal the abuses of a covert anti-bike theft task squad formed just weeks ago. Classified documents have come to light that paint a clear and disturbing picture of the rise and fall of Captain Shaine Jackson. Called to Hennessy’s […]

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Epidemic Turns East Campus into Post-Apocalyptic Society

January 26, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Epidemic Turns East Campus into Post-Apocalyptic Society
Epidemic Turns East Campus into Post-Apocalyptic Society

Tragedy struck campus last week as Vaden’s supply of flu shots finally expired, plunging the east side of campus into a dystopian, post-apocalyptic wasteland. Wilbur freshman James Todd described the downfall of Wilbur: “the infected, no longer contained in the bathrooms, spilled out into the hallways, eventually infecting the entire […]

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An Inside Look at Brobama’s America

November 18, 2012 9:00 amComments Off on An Inside Look at Brobama’s America
An Inside Look at Brobama’s America

With the close of the election just last week, President Obama revealed his plans for a second term. “I’m thinking we just take it easy and chill for a bit. As a country, we all need to slow down and, like, relax. Four years is a long time.” The President […]

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Obama Revealed to be Stanford AI Lab Experiment

November 6, 2012 5:00 pmComments Off on Obama Revealed to be Stanford AI Lab Experiment
Obama Revealed to be Stanford AI Lab Experiment

In the days leading up to the election, the Stanford AI Lab announced that Barack Hussein Obama, president of the United States of America, is actually an experiment devised by Stanford researchers codenamed “President 2.0”. “We coded President 2.0 with a bunch of empty phrases like ‘hope and change’ to […]

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SLAC Goes Green, Attaches Generator to Leland Stanford’s Rolling Corpse

October 25, 2012 8:00 amComments Off on SLAC Goes Green, Attaches Generator to Leland Stanford’s Rolling Corpse
SLAC Goes Green, Attaches Generator to Leland Stanford’s Rolling Corpse

In a shocking press release last Friday, top researchers at SLAC have announced their discovery of a previously untapped power source: Leland Stanford’s corpse. Theoretical Physicist and part-time warrior poet Richard Wallace told the Flipside, “The amount of energy that we’ve been able to generate is astounding. We’re talking about […]

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