Articles by: Matt LaVan

The Daily Publishes Transcript of Writer’s Fumbling Night of Passion

January 14, 2013 12:02 pmComments Off on The Daily Publishes Transcript of Writer’s Fumbling Night of Passion
The Daily Publishes Transcript of Writer’s Fumbling Night of Passion

The Stanford Daily, known for pushing the boundaries of what qualifies as journalism, continues to find new ways of pushing the student body into new intellectual territory, most recently through a series of edgy sex-related articles. But after covering everything from voluntary virgins to the politics of one night stands, […]

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Facebook Extends Legal Dominion Over Its Users

December 5, 2012 9:00 amComments Off on Facebook Extends Legal Dominion Over Its Users
Facebook Extends Legal Dominion Over Its Users

If you’re like me and you live on Earth, you’ve noticed the latest craze to seize the Facebooking masses. You may have even done it yourself– copy-pasted a long quasi-legal warning to Zuckerberg and the Facebookettes, Inc, asserting your god given right to do whatever you want with your 3000+ […]

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Ask a Sexually Frustrated Middle East Analyst

December 3, 2012 12:00 pmComments Off on Ask a Sexually Frustrated Middle East Analyst
Ask a Sexually Frustrated Middle East Analyst

Dear Sexually Frustrated Middle East Analyst, I want to be more informed about world politics, but the middle east seems so complex, I don’t even know where to start. Help me out? Sincerely, Confused in Crothers Dear Confused, The Middle Eastern conflict is a really hairy issue, but for now […]

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Raccoon Receives Diploma, Leftover Pizza

November 28, 2012 9:00 amComments Off on Raccoon Receives Diploma, Leftover Pizza
Raccoon Receives Diploma, Leftover Pizza

A role model for the rest of us, one of the raccoons often found rummaging through the dumpsters behind Branner Dining Hall is only a few units shy of graduating with honors. While most would balk at his ambitious academic schedule, this raccoon has plenty of time to socialize while […]

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Raven Softens Position; ‘Sometimes,’ He Concedes

November 26, 2012 12:01 pmComments Off on Raven Softens Position; ‘Sometimes,’ He Concedes
Raven Softens Position; ‘Sometimes,’ He Concedes
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Ask a Guy who Believes in Life After Love

November 12, 2012 12:00 pmComments Off on Ask a Guy who Believes in Life After Love
Ask a Guy who Believes in Life After Love

Dear Guy who believes in life after love, I want to take full advantage of my time here at Stanford and there are so many classes I want to take! I just submitted a petition to take 23 units next quarter, but my friends and advisor have all told me […]

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Guy who Dressed as a Woman for Halloween Still in Costume

November 7, 2012 9:00 amComments Off on Guy who Dressed as a Woman for Halloween Still in Costume
Guy who Dressed as a Woman for Halloween Still in Costume

Another year has passed, and already Halloween is fading into nothing more than a memory. The candy has been eaten, the drunken mistakes made and regretted, and the costumes packed or thrown away- except for Sigma Nu Junior Chris McDowell’s self-described “hilarious” costume. After shopping for hours to find the […]

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Romney courts minority vote by showing off ‘Black Friend’

November 5, 2012 12:00 pmComments Off on Romney courts minority vote by showing off ‘Black Friend’
Romney courts minority vote by showing off ‘Black Friend’

Faced with a troubling poll conducted by The Washington Post which indicates that Governor Romney is well behind Obama among racial minorities, Romney has decided to take what he refers to as his “black friend” on a tour around the country. Governor Romney embarked on a series of stump speeches […]

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Student Blames Unexcused Absence on Butterfly Effect

October 30, 2012 9:01 amComments Off on Student Blames Unexcused Absence on Butterfly Effect
Student Blames Unexcused Absence on Butterfly Effect

Following 3 consecutive unexcused absences from his Thinking Matters section, an offense which his section leader clearly stated would result in a lowered grade, Freshman Moe Muney has requested leniency, citing the unfathomable power of the “Butterfly Effect” as the cause for him missing class. “I think it goes all […]

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Totalitarian Socialist Theme Dorm to Open on West Campus

October 29, 2012 12:01 pmComments Off on Totalitarian Socialist Theme Dorm to Open on West Campus
Totalitarian Socialist Theme Dorm to Open on West Campus

University officials excitedly announced plans to convert Yost into a Totalitarian Socialist theme dorm for the 2013-2014 school year, citing “the opportunity to give students a great chance to broaden their world view by exploring and reading the narrow range of House-approved propaganda pamphlets.” “We’ve got some great little devices […]

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