Articles by: Matt LaVan

BREAKING NEWS: All Things Must Eventually Wither and Die

October 28, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on BREAKING NEWS: All Things Must Eventually Wither and Die
BREAKING NEWS: All Things Must Eventually Wither and Die

Stanford, CA – Experts now agree that despite all your efforts to fill your life with meaning, all things – good things, bad things, all lives, brief and long – must come to an end. The friends and family you cherish will pass away, and you can only hope they […]

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NASA Discovers Full Quad on the Moon

October 21, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on NASA Discovers Full Quad on the Moon
NASA Discovers Full Quad on the Moon
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Welcome Freshmen, You Don’t Deserve to be Here

October 15, 2013 9:01 amComments Off on Welcome Freshmen, You Don’t Deserve to be Here
Welcome Freshmen, You Don’t Deserve to be Here

————————————————————————————————————————— There is something, a dark and sinister current of doubt, tugging at the minds of the newly arrived Class of 2017 here at Stanford. The pressing question, “Do I deserve to be here, with all these all-you-can eat froyo machines?” Well, as the Editor-in-Chief of the Stanford Flipside, there […]

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Broke Student Forced to Cook Meth in Order to Afford One More Month of Netflix

September 30, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Broke Student Forced to Cook Meth in Order to Afford One More Month of Netflix
Broke Student Forced to Cook Meth in Order to Afford One More Month of Netflix
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An Open Letter to the Class of 2017: Face Your Time at Stanford with Open Eyes, Open Arms, and Open Legs

September 25, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on An Open Letter to the Class of 2017: Face Your Time at Stanford with Open Eyes, Open Arms, and Open Legs
An Open Letter to the Class of 2017: Face Your Time at Stanford with Open Eyes, Open Arms, and Open Legs

If you’re reading this, then welcome. You’ve come a long way, metaphorically if you’re from Los Altos or something, and literally if you’re from somewhere exotic, like Vancouver or North Dakota. You’ve already probably received a lot of advice about college from your uncomfortably drunk uncle at a barbecue this […]

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Student Spends Summer Researching the Effects of a Child’s Extended Adolescence on Middle Class Families

September 24, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Student Spends Summer Researching the Effects of a Child’s Extended Adolescence on Middle Class Families
Student Spends Summer Researching the Effects of a Child’s Extended Adolescence on Middle Class Families

At the end of last year, sophomore Ryan Tweed was presented with an amazing opportunity. As the rising junior now recalls, “All around me, my friends were finding these incredible jobs and internships. One girl was going to be working at Boeing, and my roommate had found a lab where […]

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What is This?

September 23, 2013 12:01 pmComments Off on What is This?
What is This?

The unassuming paper you hold in your hand is the centuries-old (well, almost, if you round up, and squint, and can’t count) Stanford Flipside. Steeped in tradition, this humble sheet will be hand-delivered through rain, sleet, snow, and spontaneous pick-up frisbee games right to your lunch table. It will be […]

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Whistle-Blower Fails to Attract Media Attention, Switches to Vuvuzela

12:00 pmComments Off on Whistle-Blower Fails to Attract Media Attention, Switches to Vuvuzela
Whistle-Blower Fails to Attract Media Attention, Switches to Vuvuzela
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Freshman Discovers Latent Ping Pong Talent; Women Respond Appropriately

12:00 pmComments Off on Freshman Discovers Latent Ping Pong Talent; Women Respond Appropriately
Freshman Discovers Latent Ping Pong Talent; Women Respond Appropriately
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What Happened To The Sweet, Innocent Young Man Robin Thicke Used To Be?

August 30, 2013 8:43 amComments Off on What Happened To The Sweet, Innocent Young Man Robin Thicke Used To Be?
What Happened To The Sweet, Innocent Young Man Robin Thicke Used To Be?

The sweetheart of British Columbia broke hearts and appalled parents earlier this week when he tossed aside his Golden Boy image and performed a highly sexualized rendition of Blurred Lines with known provocateur and sexpot Miley Cyrus at the VMAs. Viewers say they knew something was amiss as soon as […]

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