Articles by: Matt LaVan

Flipside Literary Corner

October 22, 2012 12:03 pmComments Off on Flipside Literary Corner
Flipside Literary Corner

We are excited to share an excerpt from a controversial new memoir that has been taking the literary world by storm. I have no mouth, yet I must scream. I’ve been here- it seems like I’ve been here forever. I can’t remember how it was in the beginning, but I […]

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Ask a Pre-Med who Just Failed a Chemistry Exam

12:00 pmComments Off on Ask a Pre-Med who Just Failed a Chemistry Exam
Ask a Pre-Med who Just Failed a Chemistry Exam

Dear Pre-Med who Just Failed a Chemistry Exam, My roommate and I never used to have any problems, but now that he has a girlfriend, I get sexiled almost every night. How do I ask him to take it down a notch, or at least go somewhere else? Sexiled in […]

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Sneak Preview: Fifty Shades of Cardinal

October 15, 2012 12:02 pmComments Off on Sneak Preview: Fifty Shades of Cardinal
Sneak Preview: Fifty Shades of Cardinal

In response to the Daily’s recent flurry of sex articles, The Flipside’s own Matthew LaVan has once more taken up the pen and written the soon-to-be best seller 50 Shades of Cardinal. Although the novel won’t hit the shelves until 2013, LaVan has graciously allowed us to share some of […]

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Ask an International Student from a Wartorn Country

12:00 pmComments Off on Ask an International Student from a Wartorn Country
Ask an International Student from a Wartorn Country

Dear International Student from a Wartorn Country, I told myself I shouldn’t let distance affect my choice of schools, but coming to Stanford has been a big adjustment. I’m from Chicago and it just feels like my family is so far away. I’ve never dealt with homesickness before. What can […]

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Opinion: “A Taste of Palo Alto” Made Me Sick

May 21, 2012 6:01 amComments Off on Opinion: “A Taste of Palo Alto” Made Me Sick
Opinion: “A Taste of Palo Alto” Made Me Sick

I was super excited about AToPA so when the day came, I grabbed my bag, biked down University, and started tasting things. The bench tasted metallic, the costume store window was dusty, the homeless man was salty, and the policeman who arrested me tasted like floral shampoo. Now I feel […]

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Board of Trustees To Buy $4.2 Million of “Contemplation Toilets”

April 30, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on Board of Trustees To Buy $4.2 Million of “Contemplation Toilets”
Board of Trustees To Buy $4.2 Million of “Contemplation Toilets”

After an extensive study regarding the contemplation resources available on campus, the Stanford Board of Trustees took a decisive action in a vote this past week and designated 4.2 million dollars for construction of contemplation toilets. Board member Louis Calloway explained, “We’ve realized that students here just weren’t doing enough […]

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Disgruntled Groundskeeper Plants Crimson Flowers Instead of Cardinal Flowers

April 23, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on Disgruntled Groundskeeper Plants Crimson Flowers Instead of Cardinal Flowers
Disgruntled Groundskeeper Plants Crimson Flowers Instead of Cardinal Flowers

Jarring. Surreal. Nightmarish. These are only a few words that have been used to describe the aftermath of disgruntled gardener John Scarborough’s rampage. Fed up and undervalued, John spent an entire weekend planting flowers all over campus that are crimson, rather than the iconic Stanford cardinal. Earl Mackelroy, fitness enthusiast […]

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How To Seduce Your Professor In 5 Easy Steps

April 3, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on How To Seduce Your Professor In 5 Easy Steps
How To Seduce Your Professor In 5 Easy Steps

So you want to seduce your professor. Not a problem! You may have already looked to the internet for help, but the WikiHow (which exists) will bring you nothing but heartache. Luckily, I’m hear to straighten things out!* Step 1: First Contact Send your professor an email about something plausible, […]

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OAPE Typo Turns “Alcohol Free” Party Into “Free Alcohol” Party

March 12, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on OAPE Typo Turns “Alcohol Free” Party Into “Free Alcohol” Party
OAPE Typo Turns “Alcohol Free” Party Into “Free Alcohol” Party

The Office of Alcohol P E (OAPE) experienced an unexpected surge in popularity last week after a typo in an internal memo changed an “alcohol free” event into a “free alcohol” event. Thanks to this mix-up, the OAPE singlehandedly funded the school’s largest pre-game event since Hennessy’s 75th birthday bash […]

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Dance Marathon Falls $150 Short of Curing AIDS

February 21, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on Dance Marathon Falls $150 Short of Curing AIDS
Dance Marathon Falls $150 Short of Curing AIDS

Several days after the Stanford 24-hour-long fiesta that is Dance Marathon, the staff who have dedicated the last few months to meticulously planning the annual event released the final numbers: 452 dancers, 67 hackers, 7,000 Cheetos consumed, and a staggering $60,075.82 raised. This is the closest the Dance Marathon has […]

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