Articles by: Magellan J. Pfluke

Dreidel Drop Comes Early This Year

December 2, 2013 12:01 pmComments Off on Dreidel Drop Comes Early This Year
Dreidel Drop Comes Early This Year

The Turkey Drop is a time-honored tradition for doomed high school couples. Thinking they can make long-distance work, within the first month they find themselves grasping at straws. When phone sex, Skype stripteases, and sexting don’t work, they may turn to a more wholesome and modest means, Snapchat, to recover […]

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English Major Surprised They Have Classes in the “Ike’s Quad”

12:00 pmComments Off on English Major Surprised They Have Classes in the “Ike’s Quad”
English Major Surprised They Have Classes in the “Ike’s Quad”
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Nothing Endearing About Sophomore Getting Rolled Out, Study Finds

October 14, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Nothing Endearing About Sophomore Getting Rolled Out, Study Finds
Nothing Endearing About Sophomore Getting Rolled Out, Study Finds
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Ask the Flipside: Ask a Reminiscing Sophomore at Dorm Storm

12:00 pmComments Off on Ask the Flipside: Ask a Reminiscing Sophomore at Dorm Storm
Ask the Flipside: Ask a Reminiscing Sophomore at Dorm Storm

Dear Reminiscing Sophomore, I’m finding it hard to interject during discussion section. Even though I did the readings, sometimes it’s impossible to keep up with the conversation and bring up a fresh point. How can I become more assertive? Tentative in Trancos Dear Tentative, God, I remember Fall Quarter last […]

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Campus Responds Positively to New Study A Broad Program

October 7, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Campus Responds Positively to New Study A Broad Program
Campus Responds Positively to New Study A Broad Program
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Wacky Wok Sponsored by Panda Express

June 3, 2013 1:25 pmComments Off on Wacky Wok Sponsored by Panda Express
Wacky Wok Sponsored by Panda Express
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Op-Ed: Don’t Worry, We’ll Totally See Each Other Next Year

May 28, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: Don’t Worry, We’ll Totally See Each Other Next Year
Op-Ed: Don’t Worry, We’ll Totally See Each Other Next Year

I know that Draw results came out last week, and everybody here in Trancos is losing their shit over being split up next year. But don’t worry, we’re different. Our friendship goes so much deeper and shit. Remember that one time we went to Late Nite, and we all sat […]

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Book Review: The Great Gatsby or The Great Gaffesby?

May 15, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Book Review: The Great Gatsby or The Great Gaffesby?
Book Review: The Great Gatsby or The Great Gaffesby?

In my younger and more vulnerable years I believed that books could one day rival movies in their vividness and complexity. Sadly, civilization’s going to pieces; I’ve gotten to be a terrible pessimist about things. For those of you looking for a little light, spring reading, F. Scott Fitzgerald (or […]

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Roommate Hosts “Rush Week” of His Own, Won’t Turn Down Stereo

April 16, 2013 9:01 amComments Off on Roommate Hosts “Rush Week” of His Own, Won’t Turn Down Stereo
Roommate Hosts “Rush Week” of His Own, Won’t Turn Down Stereo

You’ve had an early hell week this quarter, one haunted by tinny, whiny vocals, complex drum lines, and soaring synthesizers. You’ve memorized every guitar lick and pseudo-poetic lyric. You could’ve written the Mark Twain classic of the same name in the total time you’ve spent listening to “Tom Sawyer.” You’re […]

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Math Department Does Away With “Improper” Terminology

April 8, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Math Department Does Away With “Improper” Terminology
Math Department Does Away With “Improper” Terminology

In an effort to present a more inclusive, diversity-conscious face to the university at large, Stanford’s Math Department has taken a serious look at the officially recognized terminology. The push towards reform started with the concerns of partially-bathed Horatio Hurlbutt, a socially-minded junior fed up with the status quo. “It’s […]

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