Articles by: Justin Hefter

Forget the News: Media to Report the Actions of Small Town Nutjobs

September 17, 2010 2:24 pmComments Off on Forget the News: Media to Report the Actions of Small Town Nutjobs
Forget the News: Media to Report the Actions of Small Town Nutjobs

With the spectacular ratings generated by Gainseville, Florida pastor Terry Jones and the Koran burning controversy, media organizations have increasingly shifted their focus to other small town nutjobs. CNN correspondent Jamie Nussbaum found a deranged paleontologist in Toulon, Nevada, who is planning to mow his lawn in the shape of […]

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FroSoCo Concerned About Privacy, Elects To Move Further From Campus

May 23, 2010 1:35 pm0 comments
FroSoCo Concerned About Privacy, Elects To Move Further From Campus
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Wang, Sachs, Explode Onto Campus Political Scene

April 5, 2010 6:42 pm0 comments
Wang, Sachs, Explode Onto Campus Political Scene

ASSU Senate candidates Showly Wang and Rebecca Sachs are making their presence felt across campus in a campaign that has grown to epic proportions. “This is the biggest campaign I have ever seen!” said fellow candidate Jason Lupatkin. “And trust me, I’ve seen a lot of campaigns.” Wang, who is […]

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Study: Drinking Too Much Alcohol Can Lead You To SAE

February 8, 2010 3:38 pm0 comments
Study: Drinking Too Much Alcohol Can Lead You To SAE

STANFORD, CA –– A recent study has shown there is a high correlation between over-drinking and waking up in SAE without your pants. While it may seem that this statement is relevant only to girls, the bizarre twist is that the statistics show that 60 percent of those who have […]

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Black Eyed Peas Sued for Falsely Advertising Quality of Thursday Night



September 20, 2009 8:33 pm0 comments
Black Eyed Peas Sued for Falsely Advertising Quality of Thursday Night



Lets just be honest about it, Thursday night September 10, 2009, was nothing to write home about. But that’s not what Black Eyed Peas singer Will.i.am, told a group of pre-gaming 19 year olds before they went out Thursday night. He said, “Tonight’s gonna be a good good night.” Well […]

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200 People Die in Building Collapse, But More Importantly, One of Them was the Cousin of a Professional Athlete

May 24, 2009 11:12 pm0 comments
200 People Die in Building Collapse, But More Importantly, One of Them was the Cousin of a Professional Athlete

Chicago (AP) – An apartment building collapsed last Tuesday killing all two hundred people inside. Of those who were killed, one was the second-cousin-twice-removed of the third-string quarterback of the Miami Dolphins. Marty Hastings was 65, lived alone, and was known by neighbors as the old man who liked to […]

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Stanford Project on Hunger (SPOON) Raises Questions About Literacy at Stanford

May 18, 2009 2:31 pm0 comments
Stanford Project on Hunger (SPOON) Raises Questions About Literacy at Stanford

It recently came to the attention of university administrators that several groups on campus were having trouble taking the first letter of each word in their name and making an acronym. SPOON, the group that helps feed the homeless could stand for Stanford Puts Onions On Nipples, but there is […]

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Stanford Brings In Linguistics Professor To Teach Potty Language

March 29, 2009 10:48 pm0 comments
Stanford Brings In Linguistics Professor To Teach Potty Language
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Trojan Fooled into Ranking Stanford Most Sexually Healthy

March 6, 2009 2:07 am0 comments
Trojan Fooled into Ranking Stanford Most Sexually Healthy

In a recent study funded by Trojan and conducted by an independent research firm, Stanford was found to be the most sexually healthy school in the nation. Sitting on top of Columbia and Cornell for the first time gave administrators and students a very, very good feeling. Unfortunately, recent information […]

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Students For a Sustainable Stanford Search For a Way To Recycle Wasted Time

February 22, 2009 9:22 pm0 comments
Students For a Sustainable Stanford Search For a Way To Recycle Wasted Time
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