Articles by: Heidi Gamil

Stanford CS Major Unable to Use Pencil, Spurs New “Printing in the Major”

April 1, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Stanford CS Major Unable to Use Pencil, Spurs New “Printing in the Major”
Stanford CS Major Unable to Use Pencil, Spurs New “Printing in the Major”

The WIM (writing in the major) is a required class for every concentration offered at Stanford, designed to familiarize students with writing practices in their chosen fields. However, the administration has been forced to come to terms with the fact that students in certain fields may require additional help to […]

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Barack and Michelle Obama Deliver Cloyingly Sweet “State of Our Union” Address

February 19, 2013 12:02 pmComments Off on Barack and Michelle Obama Deliver Cloyingly Sweet “State of Our Union” Address
Barack and Michelle Obama Deliver Cloyingly Sweet “State of Our Union” Address

Given the immense popularity of Michelle Obama and the public admiration of their happy  marriage, the Obamas followed the President’s official State of the Union Address with a nauseatingly cute “State of Our Union Address,” designed to deliver a warm, fuzzy stimulus package directly to people’s hearts. The Obamas shared […]

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Op Ed: Similes don’t exist

January 25, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Op Ed: Similes don’t exist
Op Ed: Similes don’t exist

I’ve been quiet for too long. I’ve got to come out and say it- for my own good, for the good of my country, and for good of every English major at Stanford (so, like, for the six of us). Similes simply should NOT be. Yes, I know, this revelation […]

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Taylor Swift Goes Incognito in Local High School, Searching for Next Boyfriend

January 17, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Taylor Swift Goes Incognito in Local High School, Searching for Next Boyfriend
Taylor Swift Goes Incognito in Local High School, Searching for Next Boyfriend

Taylor Swift has decided to return to school- but it’s not just homework, books, and teachers’ dirty looks for this pop star. Swift has hit the the halls of a local high school in oversized shades and a baseball cap, searching for her next fling. While in the past Taylor […]

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What Does Your Tie Pattern Say About You?

October 12, 2012 9:00 amComments Off on What Does Your Tie Pattern Say About You?
What Does Your Tie Pattern Say About You?

Let’s face it; the upcoming presidential election makes you want to wear a tie. With all those politicians looking smart, you gotta jump on the bandwagon. Now the truth is, nobody gives an actual fuck about what color tie you wear because what really matters is the pattern. Let’s see […]

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Freshman Roommates Unable to Reach Agreement on Masturbation Schedule

October 1, 2012 12:00 pmComments Off on Freshman Roommates Unable to Reach Agreement on Masturbation Schedule
Freshman Roommates Unable to Reach Agreement on Masturbation Schedule

Shouts and shrieks echoed through the halls Monday night in Serra, shattering the otherwise peaceful tranquility of the East Campus residence. At first residents feared some sort of criminal intrustion, but the origin of the noise was revealed to be Frank Zucker and Thomas Willie, two roommates who were thought […]

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New Sexile App Available on All Smartphones

October 28, 2011 1:05 pmComments Off on New Sexile App Available on All Smartphones
New Sexile App Available on All Smartphones

Have you ever been kicked out of your room because your roommate’s getting some every night and you’re too much of a pussy to chase after girls? Or perhaps you’re too ugly. Or maybe you just smell. Either way, you’re not getting laid tonight, and you can’t sleep in your […]

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Stanford Math Major Trying to Solve Sigma Nu

October 15, 2011 6:00 amComments Off on Stanford Math Major Trying to Solve Sigma Nu
Stanford Math Major Trying to Solve Sigma Nu

Early Monday morning, a freshman math major was discovered outside of Sigma Nu mumbling incomprehensibly and surrounded by balled-up sheets of paper and eraser shavings. After paramedics fed and calmed him, the student identified himself as Martin Bologne from Des Moines, Iowa. Bologne explained that after going to Sigma Nu […]

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