Student Without Summer Plans Just Going to Wait Tables, Maybe Die

Saturday night, Stanford junior Jack Mehogg was reportedly distraught after being officially…

The Stanford Flipside Finals Survival Guide

I’m here to give you an all-inclusive, comprehensive, slightly erotic survival guide…

Camp Fire Gets “A Little Out of Hand,” Incinerates West Campus

According to several recent reports, the Johnson family campfire is “kind of…

Roommate Procrastinates by Learning Fourth Language

In recent news, yet another momentous achievement by your roommate has served…

Trump Mistakes Stormy Daniels For All the Other Horses He’s Fucked

Media outlets derided Donald Trump after he referred to adult actress Stormy…

The Forty-Year Old Virgin: An Interview With Brett Kavanaugh

Brett Michael Kavanaugh – leader, patriot, lifetime celibate. In an exclusive interview…

Dean Shaw Finally Announces One Admission Mistake

In breaking news, Dean Richard Shaw has revealed information on Stanford’s first…