Average Stanford Student Adversity Score Somehow in the Negatives

Researchers were shocked to discover that the average Stanford student scores a…

Dear Abby, My Roommate Built a Guillotine and I’m Worried He’s Going to Execute Me

Dear Abby, Abby, you sexy omniscient bitch, I’m worried. My roommate hasn’t…

Sailing Team Bribery Scandal Actually Cover Up for Black Market Organ Operation

Thanks to an anonymous tipster known only by the initials MTL, the…

In a Powerful Lecture at CEMEX Auditorium, Dinesh D’Souza Illustrates Holocaust with Sock Puppets

Invited by the respected hate group known as the Stanford College Republicans,…

Student Without Summer Plans Just Going to Wait Tables, Maybe Die

Saturday night, Stanford junior Jack Mehogg was reportedly distraught after being officially…