Articles by: Dmitri Kumm

Optimistic Marooned Sailor Thankful to Have Head Start on No-Shave November

November 7, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Optimistic Marooned Sailor Thankful to Have Head Start on No-Shave November
Optimistic Marooned Sailor Thankful to Have Head Start on No-Shave November

While most of us struggle with a case of the Monday blues, Seaman Harry Waltman – of the recently sunk SS Friedman – maintains a positive attitude regardless of his life’s current challenges. Despite having been stranded on a desert island for the past four months, Waltman is still able […]

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Campus Birdwatching Club Mostly Just Hungry Cats, Audit Finds

October 24, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Campus Birdwatching Club Mostly Just Hungry Cats, Audit Finds
Campus Birdwatching Club Mostly Just Hungry Cats, Audit Finds

In her most recent Fall audit, Stanford Club Compliance officer Kathie Terry discovered a shocking conspiracy surrounding the Stanford Birdwatching Club. “I had been eyeing the profile of this group for some time” reported Terry in her paper. “My first suspicions began when I inspected the club documents this past […]

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“The horror, the horror!” – Students Recount Catastrophic Drizzle

October 17, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on “The horror, the horror!” – Students Recount Catastrophic Drizzle
A man dressed in a shirt and tie with his hands on his head look to the sky in frustration in the pouring rain 

Black Background,Outdoors,Caucasian,Isolated,Business,Businessman,Men,Male,People,Working,Office,Office Place,Adult,Concepts,Rain,Protection,Uncertainty,weather,daytime,day,daylight,shine, pouring,life,hopeless, upset, wet, forces of nature, shirt, tie, defeated, soaked, soaking wet, rain drops, washed up, washed out, drenched, despondant, storm, defeated, frustration

The room is undecorated, apart from a poster on the wall advertising an upcoming a capella concert. A circle of collapsible chairs sit under a single ceiling light – they are filled by students struggling to make sense of the events that took place. Faces are stained equally with rain […]

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Freshman “Not Actually All That Special” Says Grandmother After Campus Visit

October 12, 2016 9:00 amComments Off on Freshman “Not Actually All That Special” Says Grandmother After Campus Visit
Freshman “Not Actually All That Special” Says Grandmother After Campus Visit

Many students find it difficult to transition from high school into Stanford, but one member of the class of 2020 has had a particularly difficult time. Growing up, Michael Kaplan was constantly reminded by his grandmother that he was loved and cherished. In all of his endeavors, Michael’s grandmother was […]

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