Articles by: Corbin Foucart

Area Man Doesn’t Need Fun to Have Alcohol

November 10, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Area Man Doesn’t Need Fun to Have Alcohol
Area Man Doesn’t Need Fun to Have Alcohol
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Guy Who “Likes” NY Feels Like a Fraud

November 3, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Guy Who “Likes” NY Feels Like a Fraud
Guy Who “Likes” NY Feels Like a Fraud
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ResEd Declares Key-less Entry “Still a work in progress.”

October 26, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on ResEd Declares Key-less Entry “Still a work in progress.”
ResEd Declares Key-less Entry “Still a work in progress.”

In a press conference last week, Stanford R&DE admitted that a method of key-less entry to Stanford buildings is no closer to fruition than when the project began, this time last year. “The project was supposed to be simple. We thought we could maybe just drill small holes in the […]

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Athlete who Waterfalls Gatorade Wins Coolest on Campus Award

12:00 pmComments Off on Athlete who Waterfalls Gatorade Wins Coolest on Campus Award
Athlete who Waterfalls Gatorade Wins Coolest on Campus Award

Narrowly edging out the guy who throws the Frisbee between his legs for every throw and the dude who yells “Let’s fucking roll out!” on Friday nights, Stanford Crew member and Sophomore Garret Jones clinched the prestigious “Coolest Campus Kid” award this week, for his daringly nonchalant, half-squeeze waterfalling technique. […]

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Report: Anaconda Wants Some, Buns Notwithstanding

October 20, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Report: Anaconda Wants Some, Buns Notwithstanding
Report: Anaconda Wants Some, Buns Notwithstanding
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Excitement Brews Over Latte

October 17, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Excitement Brews Over Latte
Excitement Brews Over Latte

For years, people who happen to be white have found the pumpkin spice latte to be one of the best parts of fall. “I just love the warmth and flavor of the pumpkin spice latte,” reports junior Abbey Peterson, who grew up in an upper class suburb of North Carolina […]

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Freshman Feels AP Calc Inadequately Prepared Him for Post-Coital Chatting

October 13, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Freshman Feels AP Calc Inadequately Prepared Him for Post-Coital Chatting
Freshman Feels AP Calc Inadequately Prepared Him for Post-Coital Chatting
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Stanford Student Excited to be Immersed in Stanford Culture Overse

October 6, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Stanford Student Excited to be Immersed in Stanford Culture Overse
Stanford Student Excited to be Immersed in Stanford Culture Overse

(Florence, Italy) – Junior Lily Margalis reportedly expressed to friends and family earlier this week how excited she was to experience Stanford culture in a totally different country. “I think this is a truly amazing opportunity,” said Margalis, gesturing at the quaint cafés and ristoranti in the vicinity of the […]

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Passengers Really Outdid Themselves This Time, Reports Airline Worker

September 29, 2014 1:30 pmComments Off on Passengers Really Outdid Themselves This Time, Reports Airline Worker
Passengers Really Outdid Themselves This Time, Reports Airline Worker

(Boston, MA) – After entering the aircraft that she and her team are responsible for cleaning, American Airlines cabin-cleaning crew member Linda Summers had a thing or two to say about the patrons of Flight AA201, she’ll tell you that. “We’ve got one hell of a doozy coming up,” she […]

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Really, Scotland? by America

September 23, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Really, Scotland? by America
Really, Scotland? by America

Scotland, what are you doing?  Trust me, I’ve been down this road with England before and you are going about it all wrong.  You and I both know that our buddy England doesn’t respond to plebiscites and documents detailing his long train of abuses.  Where’s your sense of spirit?  Do […]

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