Articles by: Bill Driscoll

Seeking Aid, Detroit Considers Artificial Earthquake

January 26, 2010 2:06 am0 comments
Seeking Aid, Detroit Considers Artificial Earthquake

With the Michigan city facing the prospect of becoming a ghost town, city lawmakers hatched an enterprising plan to restore it to prosperity: Purposefully destroying it with a man-made, 7.5 “mega-quake.” “We hope that the inevitable influx of aid and sympathy for our beleaguered city will be enough to restore […]

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‘Not Fucking A Slutty Hot Chick’ To Top Obama’s 2010 Agenda

January 20, 2010 1:05 am0 comments
‘Not Fucking A Slutty Hot Chick’ To Top Obama’s 2010 Agenda

In the wake of an exhausting health-care battle, pundits could be forgiven for thinking Barack Obama would be content to rest on his laurels for much of the new year. Instead, the President laid out a broad, sweeping vision for 2010, establishing not fucking a slutty hot chick as his […]

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‘Avatar’ Graphics Deemed Superior To Those of Reality

January 10, 2010 9:23 pm0 comments
‘Avatar’ Graphics Deemed Superior To Those of Reality

Upon emerging from the 7:30 pm 3D showing of James Cameron’s “Avatar,” Palo Alto resident Dwayne Schmitt stared up at the night sky with a somewhat disappointed expression. “Where’s the innovation?” he asked of no one in particular. “Where’s the perfectly-rendered spherical gas giant? Where is the sunset whose swirling […]

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