Articles by: Ben Harley Davidson

DNC Frantically Inventing New States to Give Biden Last-Minute Electoral Boost

April 19, 2020 3:08 pmComments Off on DNC Frantically Inventing New States to Give Biden Last-Minute Electoral Boost
DNC Frantically Inventing New States to Give Biden Last-Minute Electoral Boost

As moderates consolidate behind their lukewarm candidate of choice, Joe Biden, the Democratic National Committee has stepped up its efforts to halt the momentum of populist insurgent Bernie Sanders. After having drop-outs Buttigieg, Klobuchar, Harris, O’Rourke and Bloomberg all endorse the former vice president, and amid wall-to-wall positive TV coverage, […]

Read more ›

Florence Abroad Program Moved to Quarantined Spaghetti Factory Near Florence Where Students Learn How to Make Spaghetti

April 18, 2020 11:23 amComments Off on Florence Abroad Program Moved to Quarantined Spaghetti Factory Near Florence Where Students Learn How to Make Spaghetti
Florence Abroad Program Moved to Quarantined Spaghetti Factory Near Florence Where Students Learn How to Make Spaghetti

Following increasing reports of a coronavirus outbreak in northern Italy, rumors around the cancellation of the BOSP study abroad program in Florence have circulated campus. While the program did conclude, students were not sent back to the United States as was incorrectly confirmed by the Stanford Daily and the Fountain […]

Read more ›

Disney Applauded for Casting First Openly Queer Character as Disgusting Roach Who Gets Stepped On During Opening Credits

11:02 amComments Off on Disney Applauded for Casting First Openly Queer Character as Disgusting Roach Who Gets Stepped On During Opening Credits
Disney Applauded for Casting First Openly Queer Character as Disgusting Roach Who Gets Stepped On During Opening Credits

Last Thursday, Disney joined the ranks of uber-corporations who recognize the turning sociopolitical tide by announcing that their first openly queer character would appear in an upcoming animated film, Shitstain Fuckstick. This announcement described how although this character—a cockroach named “Deviant Danny”—would only appear in the first three seconds of […]

Read more ›

Op-Ed: So What If I Put Sweet-and-Savory Ham, Black Forest Turkey, a Delectable Cheese Selection, and Honey Dijon on My Pop Tart?

March 1, 2020 10:26 amComments Off on Op-Ed: So What If I Put Sweet-and-Savory Ham, Black Forest Turkey, a Delectable Cheese Selection, and Honey Dijon on My Pop Tart?
Op-Ed: So What If I Put Sweet-and-Savory Ham, Black Forest Turkey, a Delectable Cheese Selection, and Honey Dijon on My Pop Tart?

Sandwich-making is a secret lore, a tradition, an art— and though I must work with imperfect ingredients and facilities, only a poor artist blames their tools. It’s my love of the sandwich which fuels me, not some vain indulgence which takes gluttonous joy in using only the priciest parts. ’Tis […]

Read more ›

Student Staff Group Interview Devolves into Bloodbath After RF Throws Snapped Pool Cue, Depressed Frosh into Room

February 14, 2020 10:10 amComments Off on Student Staff Group Interview Devolves into Bloodbath After RF Throws Snapped Pool Cue, Depressed Frosh into Room
Student Staff Group Interview Devolves into Bloodbath After RF Throws Snapped Pool Cue, Depressed Frosh into Room

Applications for next year’s Resident Assistant roles at Otero took a dark turn last Saturday after what presented itself as a lighthearted opportunity for Resident Fellows to meet prospective RAs resulted in blood being spilled on the dorm’s carpeted floors. According to one survivor, Julia Juárez ’21, the applicants began […]

Read more ›

Disastrous Iowa Caucuses Were Using Stanford Web Authentication Services, Investigation Reveals

February 6, 2020 1:19 amComments Off on Disastrous Iowa Caucuses Were Using Stanford Web Authentication Services, Investigation Reveals
Disastrous Iowa Caucuses Were Using Stanford Web Authentication Services, Investigation Reveals

Technological and infrastructural complications with the Iowa caucuses earlier this week have been traced to one fatal flaw, third-party investigators have announced: the Iowa Democratic National Committee’s online voting infrastructure relied on Stanford web authentication services in order to process voters. After half-a-dozen different parts of the Iowa DNC’s voting […]

Read more ›

Dear SCR: If I Use Dark Magicks to Infuse an Unholy Flesh-Golem with a Soul, But Abort the Ritual Prematurely, Is That Murder?

January 24, 2020 9:55 amComments Off on Dear SCR: If I Use Dark Magicks to Infuse an Unholy Flesh-Golem with a Soul, But Abort the Ritual Prematurely, Is That Murder?
Dear SCR: If I Use Dark Magicks to Infuse an Unholy Flesh-Golem with a Soul, But Abort the Ritual Prematurely, Is That Murder?

Prithee listen, thou kindly Stanford College Republicans, and heed my request for your counsel. I have initiated magicks most foule that — shouldst they continue undisturbed — will seize upon some lost soul from the aether and bind it, helpless at my hands, to a husk of flesh and fluid […]

Read more ›

Op-Ed: From Now On, if a Friend Shows Me a “Funny Video” and It’s Not Funny, I’m Going to Strangle Them with a Plastic Bag

January 15, 2020 1:01 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: From Now On, if a Friend Shows Me a “Funny Video” and It’s Not Funny, I’m Going to Strangle Them with a Plastic Bag
Op-Ed: From Now On, if a Friend Shows Me a “Funny Video” and It’s Not Funny, I’m Going to Strangle Them with a Plastic Bag

You’ve had it happen to you, haven’t you? A friend, a comrade, someone with whom you’ve entrusted the very secrets of your soul, they usher you into some dark corner and whip their phone out of a pocket like a magician who’s setting up for the last and greatest trick […]

Read more ›

Amid Data Leak Scandal, Queer Chart CEO Testifies Before ASSU Congress

December 11, 2019 6:16 pmComments Off on Amid Data Leak Scandal, Queer Chart CEO Testifies Before ASSU Congress
View, from the balcony, of congressmen and congresswomen on the house floor as the 115th Congress is called into session on its opening day, Washington DC, January 3, 2017. (Photo by Mark Reinstein/Corbis via Getty Images)

In a highly publicized inquiry, founder and CEO of Queer Chart Samantha Techington testified in front of the ASSU Congress all throughout last week, answering questions about security vulnerabilities in the program. Queer Chart — an app designed to bring together queer womxn on Stanford’s campus — was previously revealed […]

Read more ›

Real News: Students Gather in Front of Admin Building to Boo for 8 to 13 Minutes

6:13 pmComments Off on Real News: Students Gather in Front of Admin Building to Boo for 8 to 13 Minutes
Real News: Students Gather in Front of Admin Building to Boo for 8 to 13 Minutes

A note from the desk of The Stanford Flipside: We are expanding our horizons into some real reporting, starting with this bad boy right here. Since our friends over at The Daily have made the leap on over to satire, we decided to try our hand at giving you the […]

Read more ›