Just days before the event was to take place, Stanford President Marc Tessier-Lavigne announced that the annual Parents Weekend would be rebranded as “Big Daddy Weekend.” The new event will feature many of the same activities and events as its predecessor did, with the major difference that all other parents besides Marc “Big Daddy” Tessier-Lavigne will be barred from entry.

The event will open with a half-hour conversation between Tessier-Lavigne and Provost Persis Drell, which is open to the public (except parents). Events to follow on Friday include a tour around campus led by the President, residence hall receptions hosting the President, and an hour-long conversation between the President and himself.

Saturday’s events involve Tessier-Lavigne demonstrating various resources of the university, touring various classes available to students, and replacing all previously scheduled acts for the Entertainment Extravaganza with an hour-long scat singing session led by the President himself. Lunch and brunch will still be available free of charge, but only for Marc Tessier-Lavigne.

When asked about the reason for the sudden change, the President explained that he felt that this new Big Daddy Weekend would be both productive and necessary. “I mean, parents don’t really need have a whole weekend to themselves. Besides, I’ve been feeling a little bit bored lately so I figured a few days of fun would be good for me. Walk around, greet some children, enjoy myself, soak in the sun, y’know?” At press time, Tessier-Lavigne confirmed that Big Daddy Weekend would be continuing in the future and that parents would instead of a weekend be provided with a Parents Hour sometime next spring. (Davidson)

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