Post Tagged with: "#wow"

Breaking: Voters Elect to Release Macriki From Her Hole

April 9, 2018 12:00 pmComments Off on Breaking: Voters Elect to Release Macriki From Her Hole
Breaking: Voters Elect to Release Macriki From Her Hole

After a long and arduous campaign season, the votes are in. And what do you know: a majority of citizens across the nation have just chosen to release Macriki from her deep, dark hole! Macriki was sentenced to life without parole in her shame-pit for spitting in the eye of God, but […]

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Freshman Who Lied About Watching Game of Thrones Now In Too Deep

October 16, 2017 5:00 pmComments Off on Freshman Who Lied About Watching Game of Thrones Now In Too Deep
Freshman Who Lied About Watching Game of Thrones Now In Too Deep

In devastating news out of Burbank this past week, freshman Ken Seley has realized he is “in too deep” in his ongoing lie — initially told in an effort to be more relatable to his peers — that he watches the popular HBO series Game of Thrones. The problem first […]

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Cool Grandma Plans To Get “Eggnog Blitzed” This Holiday Season

December 5, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Cool Grandma Plans To Get “Eggnog Blitzed” This Holiday Season
Cool Grandma Plans To Get “Eggnog Blitzed” This Holiday Season

Betty Peterson, 90, is quick to remind family and friends that she lives for only two things in this world: “playing bridge and getting belligerent.” Regarding last year’s holiday events, Betty’s youngest grandson Doug recounted: “Last Christmas, I asked Santa for a new skateboard. I was really excited to see […]

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Student Protests Twitter Character Limit By Not Completing Any of His Sentenc

December 2, 2016 9:00 amComments Off on Student Protests Twitter Character Limit By Not Completing Any of His Sentenc
Student Protests Twitter Character Limit By Not Completing Any of His Sentenc

Senior Justin Henshaw rose to Stanford-wide internet infamy Sunday after taking a stand against Twitter’s 140-character limit. Alongside friends who have led the #NoDAPL campus movement against the Dakota Access Pipeline, various walkouts, and several support rallies, Justin has become a strong figurehead for student-led activism at Stanford. “I just really […]

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Yo My Millenial Fam! It’s Me, Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton

January 13, 2016 9:00 amComments Off on Yo My Millenial Fam! It’s Me, Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton
Yo My Millenial Fam! It’s Me, Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton

Wazzup! It’s ya girl, Hillary Rodham Clinton. Now, I’m not like any of those other whack candidates — I’m hip, I’m kool, I’m chill. Not like that Donald Trump, or should I say Donald Chump!! He’s so “basic.” I bet he doesn’t even know what a Hotline Bling — or […]

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