Friday, the United States electorate discovered a brand new variety of person within the genus of old white men running for political office.  Old White Men, a group historically known for their position of ignorant privilege in American society, has now been found to include a unique environmentally-conscious breed known […]

For years, people who happen to be white have found the pumpkin spice latte to be one of the best parts of fall. “I just love the warmth and flavor of the pumpkin spice latte,” reports junior Abbey Peterson, who grew up in an upper class suburb of North Carolina […]

When Billy asked his dad, Richard Whiteman, the House representative for Alabama’s famously conservative 6th district and a Tea Party sweetheart, to pass the beans on a recent Tuesday night, it quickly became clear that his father had once again failed to leave his work at the office. Rich, as […]

Twain freshman Mark Morris was greeted with an unwelcome surprise this past week when he was alerted to the fact that he was, in fact, Caucasian. Said his floormate, James Anduro, “It was starting to become a problem and making things awkward in the dorm and that’s why we had […]

After hearing roommate Leroy White mutter a series of racial slurs while reading an article detailing President Barak Obama’s recent speech at the United Nations, Arroyo resident and self-proclaimed hate-mongerer Dirk Hitchens reported that he was incredibly relieved that the man who sleeps across the room from him was just […]