Post Tagged with: "turkey"

Haas Center announces Turkey Slaughter Day, a “hands-on experience for service-oriented birdkillers”

November 6, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Haas Center announces Turkey Slaughter Day, a “hands-on experience for service-oriented birdkillers”
Haas Center announces Turkey Slaughter Day, a “hands-on experience for service-oriented birdkillers”

In a move aimed to please humanitarians and psychopaths alike, Stanford’s Haas Center for Public Service has announced that it will be hosting and funding an on-campus “Turkey Slaughter Day” later this month. “Essentially what we’ll be doing is bringing in a number of turkeys in anticipation of Thanksgiving and […]

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The Lonely Freshman’s Guide to Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner

December 3, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on The Lonely Freshman’s Guide to Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner
The Lonely Freshman’s Guide to Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner

Are you an out-of-state freshman spending your first Thanksgiving away from family? Have all of your new local friends left for home without inviting you over? Do the international kids still kind of scare you? If you’ve answered yes to these questions, look no further! In a few easy steps, […]

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Pardoned Turkey At Large, Killing Freely

November 28, 2012 9:00 amComments Off on Pardoned Turkey At Large, Killing Freely
Pardoned Turkey At Large, Killing Freely

In what Beltway observers are calling a fundamental error in trivial symbolic politics, the turkey pardoned by President Obama is on a vicious killing spree. Remington, as the Virginia-raised poultry menace is called, escaped from the turkey-pardoning motorcade shortly after it left White House grounds Wednesday morning and proceeded to commit the first […]

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Sophomore Quits Turkey after Bad Thanksgiving Experience

November 30, 2011 12:00 pmComments Off on Sophomore Quits Turkey after Bad Thanksgiving Experience
Sophomore Quits Turkey after Bad Thanksgiving Experience

In a surprising announcement released moments after waking up, still in his slacks, on the morning of Black Friday, Sophomore Jerry Langdon declared to his friends and family that he was “never eating turkey again”. “The night began so innocuously,” said Langdon, “At first I just had some of those […]

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ASSU Counters Claims That They Don’t Do Anything By Releasing Thanksgiving Hand Turkeys

November 7, 2011 6:00 amComments Off on ASSU Counters Claims That They Don’t Do Anything By Releasing Thanksgiving Hand Turkeys
ASSU Counters Claims That They Don’t Do Anything By Releasing Thanksgiving Hand Turkeys

Seeking to fulfill their campaign pledge of “creating tangible results that all Stanford students can appreciate”, ASSU executive members sent out a mass email containing pictures of the Thanksgiving hand turkeys that they have been working on since the beginning of the school year. “We think it’s a heartening rebuttal […]

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Entire Thanksgiving Dinner Spent Complimenting the Stuffing

November 28, 2008 1:39 am0 comments
Entire Thanksgiving Dinner Spent Complimenting the Stuffing
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