Post Tagged with: "sex"

Sexually Active Man Tests Positive for Harpies

March 6, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Sexually Active Man Tests Positive for Harpies
Sexually Active Man Tests Positive for Harpies

When local sex-haver Vikram Üntergrim went to get a free STD screening at Vaden, he was worried that his frequent hookups had left him with some sort of venereal disease. But the diagnosis he ultimately received was far worse: he had harpies. “The first time I realized that something might […]

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Ninja Loses Throwing Stars, Keys in Worst Day Ever

January 23, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Ninja Loses Throwing Stars, Keys in Worst Day Ever
Ninja Loses Throwing Stars, Keys in Worst Day Ever

Koga, Japan—Ruffling frantically through the piles of yari spears and rocket-propelled arrows littering the floor of his apartment, local ninja Kato Danzo told reporters yesterday that he had somehow lost both his car keys and favorite set of throwing stars in what was undoubtedly the worst day ever. “Oh man, […]

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Coolest Kid at NSO Already “So Over This Lame Place”

September 22, 2016 12:01 pmComments Off on Coolest Kid at NSO Already “So Over This Lame Place”
Coolest Kid at NSO Already “So Over This Lame Place”

Early reports from sources in Wilbur indicate that Saniyya Miller, the coolest member of the Stanford Class of 2020, is already “tired of this weird, conform-y, suffocating campus”.  Despite the excited shouts of her RAs, the warm smiles of her newfound dormmates, and a slew of upbeat orientation programming, Miller […]

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Kardinal Kink Member “Can’t Wait” for Midterms

May 12, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Kardinal Kink Member “Can’t Wait” for Midterms
Kardinal Kink Member “Can’t Wait” for Midterms

Midterms can be a trying time at Stanford, casting a shadow over the otherwise sunny paradise from week 3 until week 9. But for Emily Patrelle, midterms are one of the highlights of her quarter, every quarter. An active member of Kardinal Kink, the BDSM and sex-positivity club founded earlier […]

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The Daily Publishes Transcript of Writer’s Fumbling Night of Passion

January 14, 2013 12:02 pmComments Off on The Daily Publishes Transcript of Writer’s Fumbling Night of Passion
The Daily Publishes Transcript of Writer’s Fumbling Night of Passion

The Stanford Daily, known for pushing the boundaries of what qualifies as journalism, continues to find new ways of pushing the student body into new intellectual territory, most recently through a series of edgy sex-related articles. But after covering everything from voluntary virgins to the politics of one night stands, […]

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Op-Ed: It’s Time Somebody Put to Rest the Rumors That Condi And I Are Having Warm, Delicious Sex

January 7, 2013 12:01 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: It’s Time Somebody Put to Rest the Rumors That Condi And I Are Having Warm, Delicious Sex
Op-Ed: It’s Time Somebody Put to Rest the Rumors That Condi And I Are Having Warm, Delicious Sex

By: John Hennesey Look, I’m not faulting anybody here.  I know how rumors spread.  You start with a truth, something innocent, innocuous.  Somewhere along the line, a gossipy individual adds an exaggeration, or a fabrication, a single grain of falsity.  Then somebody else follows suit and the grains start building […]

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Puppeteer Takes the Heat for Elmo’s Sordid Affairs

November 26, 2012 12:00 pmComments Off on Puppeteer Takes the Heat for Elmo’s Sordid Affairs
Puppeteer Takes the Heat for Elmo’s Sordid Affairs

This week, longtime Elmo puppeteer and accused sex offender Kevin Clash held a press conference to state that he is innocent and that authorities should be prosecuting the real culprit, Elmo himself. The prepared statement, in which Clash claimed to be “in the wrong puppet at the wrong time,” contained […]

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Sneak Preview: Fifty Shades of Cardinal

October 15, 2012 12:02 pmComments Off on Sneak Preview: Fifty Shades of Cardinal
Sneak Preview: Fifty Shades of Cardinal

In response to the Daily’s recent flurry of sex articles, The Flipside’s own Matthew LaVan has once more taken up the pen and written the soon-to-be best seller 50 Shades of Cardinal. Although the novel won’t hit the shelves until 2013, LaVan has graciously allowed us to share some of […]

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Area Man Saving Himself For Politics or Coaching

May 3, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on Area Man Saving Himself For Politics or Coaching
Area Man Saving Himself For Politics or Coaching

Local grad student Mark Henderson has announced he will abstain from sexual intercourse until he is elected to public office or becomes a football coach. “I’ve made the decision to wait,” said Mark as he flipped through the pages of Playboy just to read the articles. “I think sex is […]

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Math Student Finds Real Analysis Much Less Interesting After Getting Action

November 14, 2011 6:00 amComments Off on Math Student Finds Real Analysis Much Less Interesting After Getting Action
Math Student Finds Real Analysis Much Less Interesting After Getting Action

Sources report that sophomore Nathan Kingston, child prodigy and math aficionado, has lost significant interest in the arcane processes behind real analysis after getting some action at Sigma Nu last Friday night. “Basically, I’m the shit now,” a confident Kingston told the Flipside, scratching his balls nonchalantly. “For a while, […]

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