Ninja Loses Throwing Stars, Keys in Worst Day Ever

Koga, Japan—Ruffling frantically through the piles of yari spears and rocket-propelled arrows…

Coolest Kid at NSO Already “So Over This Lame Place”

Early reports from sources in Wilbur indicate that Saniyya Miller, the coolest…

Op-Ed: It’s Time Somebody Put to Rest the Rumors That Condi And I Are Having Warm, Delicious Sex

By: John Hennesey Look, I’m not faulting anybody here.  I know how…

Puppeteer Takes the Heat for Elmo’s Sordid Affairs

This week, longtime Elmo puppeteer and accused sex offender Kevin Clash held…

Sneak Preview: Fifty Shades of Cardinal

In response to the Daily’s recent flurry of sex articles, The Flipside’s…

Area Man Saving Himself For Politics or Coaching

Local grad student Mark Henderson has announced he will abstain from sexual…