Post Tagged with: "MTL"

Op-Ed: I got matched with Marc Tessier-Lavigne on Marriage Pact and now he won’t stop texting me

December 4, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: I got matched with Marc Tessier-Lavigne on Marriage Pact and now he won’t stop texting me
Op-Ed: I got matched with Marc Tessier-Lavigne on Marriage Pact and now he won’t stop texting me

I filled out the Stanford Marriage Pact survey in a quest for love. A freshman at Stanford, I was feeling a little lost, and along comes a way to form an instant connection in the most meaningful way possible: algorithm-based love through a short online form. Nervously, I awaited my […]

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Marc Tessier-Lavigne Revealed to be Hooked to Cryogenic Vat Between Speeches

October 24, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Marc Tessier-Lavigne Revealed to be Hooked to Cryogenic Vat Between Speeches
Marc Tessier-Lavigne Revealed to be Hooked to Cryogenic Vat Between Speeches

In a press conference that has stunned students and wowed the scientific community, Stanford Provost Persis Drell confirmed this weekend that school president Marc Tessier-Lavigne is kept preserved in a cryogenic vat between speeches, only emerging from his ungodly slumber for intermittent public appearances. “It’s basically a Winter Soldier-type deal,” […]

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Marc Tessier-Lavigne to Allow Two Hottest People From Each Dorm to Get On Ark

February 27, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Marc Tessier-Lavigne to Allow Two Hottest People From Each Dorm to Get On Ark
Marc Tessier-Lavigne to Allow Two Hottest People From Each Dorm to Get On Ark

STANFORD, CA — As the threat of flood increases each day of this rainy season at Stanford, Marc Tessier-Lavigne has announced a plan for the two hottest people from each dorm to begin boarding his ark. “At some point everyone will have to accept the reality of this armageddon flood […]

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