Post Tagged with: "math"

Roommate Won’t Stop Writing Groundbreaking Equations on Dorm Window

January 15, 2018 11:59 amComments Off on Roommate Won’t Stop Writing Groundbreaking Equations on Dorm Window
Roommate Won’t Stop Writing Groundbreaking Equations on Dorm Window

Finding a good roommate is hard anywhere — but at Stanford, things can be even more complicated. At least, that’s what junior Elliot Rancorn found when he was paired up with one who simply would not stop writing earth-shattering formulas on the room’s one window. “I was studying abroad in […]

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Math Joins Ranks of Pro-Hillary Establishment

May 9, 2016 12:01 pmComments Off on Math Joins Ranks of Pro-Hillary Establishment
Math Joins Ranks of Pro-Hillary Establishment

Ignoring the momentum displayed by Bernie Sanders’ surprise win in Indiana, mathematics revealed its establishment indoctrination Sunday by maintaining that Hillary Clinton is “quite literally assured” to be the Democratic nominee for the Presidency. As math explained, “Senator Sanders would need 939 delegates to secure the nomination. There are only […]

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David Shaw’s Math Issues Worsen As Offense Improves

October 12, 2015 12:01 pmComments Off on David Shaw’s Math Issues Worsen As Offense Improves
David Shaw’s Math Issues Worsen As Offense Improves

Since his appointment as head coach five years ago, David Shaw has been known for his low scoring, conservative victories. But it was only after the Stanford offense’s recent impressive play, in which they scored 42, 41 and 55 points, that those closest to Shaw have finally realized that the […]

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Stanford Athlete Gives Up on Sochi Olympic Over Midterm Conflict

January 27, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Stanford Athlete Gives Up on Sochi Olympic Over Midterm Conflict
Stanford Athlete Gives Up on Sochi Olympic Over Midterm Conflict

As the 2014 Winter Olympics draw closer, some of the greatest athletics in the world are in preparing to head to Sochi, Russia, for their chance to compete for the gold.  However, not everyone will have the opportunity to make fun of shuffleboard in person, despite their athletic prowess. Stanford […]

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Math Department Does Away With “Improper” Terminology

April 8, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Math Department Does Away With “Improper” Terminology
Math Department Does Away With “Improper” Terminology

In an effort to present a more inclusive, diversity-conscious face to the university at large, Stanford’s Math Department has taken a serious look at the officially recognized terminology. The push towards reform started with the concerns of partially-bathed Horatio Hurlbutt, a socially-minded junior fed up with the status quo. “It’s […]

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Math Student Finds Real Analysis Much Less Interesting After Getting Action

November 14, 2011 6:00 amComments Off on Math Student Finds Real Analysis Much Less Interesting After Getting Action
Math Student Finds Real Analysis Much Less Interesting After Getting Action

Sources report that sophomore Nathan Kingston, child prodigy and math aficionado, has lost significant interest in the arcane processes behind real analysis after getting some action at Sigma Nu last Friday night. “Basically, I’m the shit now,” a confident Kingston told the Flipside, scratching his balls nonchalantly. “For a while, […]

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Stanford Math Major Trying to Solve Sigma Nu

October 15, 2011 6:00 amComments Off on Stanford Math Major Trying to Solve Sigma Nu
Stanford Math Major Trying to Solve Sigma Nu

Early Monday morning, a freshman math major was discovered outside of Sigma Nu mumbling incomprehensibly and surrounded by balled-up sheets of paper and eraser shavings. After paramedics fed and calmed him, the student identified himself as Martin Bologne from Des Moines, Iowa. Bologne explained that after going to Sigma Nu […]

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A Mathematician’s World

February 20, 2011 4:28 pmComments Off on A Mathematician’s World
A Mathematician’s World
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Graphic: Stanford Professor of Being Sweet Uncovers a New Mathematical Relationship

April 13, 2010 9:04 pm0 comments
Graphic: Stanford Professor of Being Sweet Uncovers a New Mathematical Relationship
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Mathematicians Discover New “160 Proof,” Get Totally Wasted


February 16, 2010 5:33 pm0 comments
Mathematicians Discover New “160 Proof,” Get Totally Wasted


ATLANTA, GA—Last week, at the 4th Annual Conference of Mathematicians, Brent Foster of Arizona State University shocked the mathematics community when he presented his new form of proof. “For years, mathematicians have searched for new ways to view the world,” explained Foster. “We have looked for new approaches to problems […]

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