Post Tagged with: "loser"

Spring Quarter Arrives and Loser Freshman Has Still Fucked Zero Professors

April 9, 2018 12:00 pmComments Off on Spring Quarter Arrives and Loser Freshman Has Still Fucked Zero Professors
Spring Quarter Arrives and Loser Freshman Has Still Fucked Zero Professors

As sunlight bathes a calm campus and young caterpillars rappel from awakening trees, freshman Kevin Morris reflects upon two prior quarters of failure. Morris, though having now been at Stanford for an entire seven months as he enters into spring quarter, has somehow still not had sex with a single […]

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American Celebrates Independence, Moves Into Parents’ Basement

July 5, 2010 2:25 pmComments Off on American Celebrates Independence, Moves Into Parents’ Basement
American Celebrates Independence, Moves Into Parents’ Basement

SUBURBIA—For over 200 years, Americans have celebrated the Fourth of July with barbecues, fireworks, and picnics with friends and family, but this year, Tyrell Jenkins, a 23-year-old from Redwood City, discovered a new way to celebrate his independence. This year, Jenkins celebrated the Fourth of July by moving from the […]

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